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One Year



Well Bruce is nearing his one year anniversary and I am looking back at the year and the progress he has made. He had a down time just after Christmas when we could not get the long leg brace on. He was walking a city block and then the "tone" kicked in. Botox and Zanaflex have helped and he is now walking with just an AFO and assistance, but we are back in June - slow, painful. But he is at least using the muscles and not depending on a brace to support him. Arm is very slow, but he has made it to the bike machine, shoulder back in socket, nothing on hand yet. All these gains and still I am so depressed, I don't want to get up in the morning and then count the hours until I can get back in bed. Days are his schedule and I think, since routine is now set and I have more time to myself, I find myself with no life. I am considering leaving him for a short time alone, maybe a walk or quick shop, but am so afraid he will get hurt. Our winter has been relatively mild, so we are out every day. I read. My house is cleaner than it has ever been - I'm not a housekeeper and yesterday I found myself making salmon pate, just to pass time until the next task-toileting, pills, meal etc. I'm not a crafter - bad hands.I am considering writing, but am afraid it will just make the depression worse. I have been told by therapy I need to step back and assist not do. Bruce is responding very well to this - he wants his independence, although the therapists suggested I may get resistance at first, need to stand pat; but he has stepped up in many areas - personal grooming, getting his own drinks, coffee; WC'ing around the house. Speech improves daily. We now have actual conversations and he is voicing himself more. So, am I just being a big baby? Suggestions as to things I can maybe do, while in the house and within earshot?


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Learn an instrument, make a movie, trace your family tree, get your photos in order, write to 10 friends who don't have computers, paint a picture, read the biographies of all the Presidents of the USA. Start there Ethyl and then make your own list of things you can do while you watch your husband getting better and better.


I've always thought we used the "I work full time" thing to mask the fact that we don't really have the inner resources to fill in 24 hours a day so now is the time to learn that skill for yourself. The pioneer women had to do it and by heck! we can too.


Seriously, please look at the wonderful job you have done over the last twelve months and give yourself a break. You are a wonderful woman and your hubby should value you above rubies.


(((Hugs ))) from Sue.

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hi Ethyl:



welcome to wonderful world of blogging. I have found blogging very theruprtic for writers as well as readers. I feel more you allow Bruce to do for himself, bettter it will be for both of you. I know initially it's hard to let go, but more you let go, closer you become. you can start with small time slot in the house of leaving him alone & later increase it & give him cell phonr & remind him you are just one click away.




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It sounds like you and Bruce have come along way. I know that as a caregiver you have done alot of work. I must say that you have done a superb job.

Life is different post stroke. But, it does sound like Bruce is able to be left alone for short periods of time. You will become more cofortable with that idea as time progresses.

Keep up the good work.

Keep blogging it is good for the soul.


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All I can say is keep on pushing it does get better, not easier but a bit better where you don't mind getting up in the mornings. I keep thinking it only took seconds for the stroke to get me, now it will take a lifetime for me to get better at least some.


So thank the man above Bruce is a survivor with a chance to get better day by day.

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Thank you all for the input. Well, I let him be while I watched some of the Super Bowl yesterday. I could hear him wheeling around the house, but I didn't jump up to help. I could hear him "tinkering" with stuff - not like the stove or anything. And come to find out mister had reset the Thermostat. The furnace went on every 20 minutes and the house was at 70 degrees. I finally found the stupid manual at 2 am and got the thing reprogrammed, I think. Still wasn't right this morning but we had to get to therapy, played with it again when we got home and it just kicked down to 55 degrees for overnight, so I think I may be in the clear. So Hostsue adding to your list, get the manuals for all the household appliances in one place, categorized. Thanks again and I needed that laugh.

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OH Ethyl,


I just thought of something else for you two to get back into doing since he is improving greatly.....SEX, with a little help from you, his life will jump to it and you can get some much needed rest. Now what you think about that idea???? :D

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