Got a message from Rachel today about my comment on heredity and yes, it is a funny thing to be mad about. Those loving people who brought us into the world also left marks we do not always guess we could have.My first husband could not have children as his Mom was given a drug to help stop her morning sickness. She did not suffer from that with the girls.This woman is a saint. Twenty-five years after her son and I divorced, she still writes and calls on a regular basis and calls me her daughter. As far as I know, she never knew, at least we never told her while we were together. What would it have accomplished? My blessed Mother practically raised us 7 herself. After the twins were born, my Dad had to work out of state and only came home on weekends to provide for us.To this day when I or my 2 sisters get in a jam we paraphrase from "Elizabeth": I am my mother's daughter, I am afraid of nothing. That gets me through the day. Bruce was asked all the usual questions: Cardiac history, high cholesterol, high blood pressure. To this day his cholesterol remains well within healthy limits. Yes, he smoked, drank occasionally and worked at a desk, but he also cut and split his own wood, took out cement steps himself and loaded them into a dumpster, raked, mowed and shoveled snow. So the Doctor says, he had none of the symptoms and I say or he had all of them - meaning the smoking, alcohol and desk job and it was the Doctor who said to me, you can't change who your parents were. Bruce had almost no contact with his Dad after 9 years old except when he died and his Mom died of Brain Cancer. So yes, I can be mad but I can also say truthfully, "Who Knew?" So yes, while I feel I made some mistakes that night, I now realize there was nothing to be done to prevent it and yes, I take some peace in thinking he survived this because his work here is not complete.