I was reading CNN as I do most everyday when I get to school, when I discovered an article about Birth Control. To any men reading this, don't freak out...I am not going to get graphic. I don't think I have ever talked about this, but my neurologist tells me it is likely that the combination of BCPs and migraines (complete with aura) are to blame for my stroke. It was an explaination I always believed in completely. I did some research on my own when I first had my stroke, and most of what I read was consistent with my doc. In the CNN article, there is a section that goes over who should and should not take birth control. People with migraines are one of the first groups listed in the "should not" category.

Five years after the fact, this makes me a little angry. The doctor who prescribed the BCPs knew about my lifelong struggle with stupid migraines! Granted, I was not a very good advocate for myself. I didn't ask enough questions, and I didn't do enough research on my own. I just went in and asked for them, and with little discussion, he gave them to me. I have become an excellent advocate for myself now. I probably irritate the doctors I see. I don't care; I figure they get paid enough to listen to whatever I come up with. I am not beating myself up, what's done is done. What I am asking myself is, "Why wasn't my doctor advocating for me?" We pay them good money to have our best interests in mind.

The rational part of my brain tells me that there is really no one to blame for my stroke. It happened. It is over, and I thank God every day for the fact that I am alive. The irrational part of my brain is just more powerful today. I probably won't be mad tomorrow (or after I have some chocolate in a few minutes). I just really wanted to get it out of my system.