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looking for answers


swilkinson

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It is hard sometimes when you are looking for answers and the reply seems to be:

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Sue,

 

As everyone in my other caregiver support group keeps telling me "this too shall pass." Some day we will look back on it and say "I'm glad I could be there for him" and wonder where we mustered the strength to do all that we do.

 

Yes, it often feels as though you are "joined at the hip" when you can't get away without someone filling your shoes. I have the same problem here and it's been nearly a year since my last get-away. I was soooooooo looking forward to an overnight away for Mother's Day. Now that our son has found a new eye Dr. who corrected one eye well enough that he can drive again, he is back at work, so there goes my Sunday night away. I haven't had home health aids in over a month, and not sure I really miss them except for the break from showering Gary. Otherwise, it seems they spent a lot of time sitting and left me to do the housework when I returned. I was paying way too much for that kind of service.

 

Our time will come! We will have the caregiver meet and greet in Hawaii and maybe we'll all be old and disabled ourselves when it happens, but it will happen.

 

Sarah

 

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Sue, just a suggestions, if you could pre-draw his insulin (if the dose is not based on a blood glucose level at that time) maybe someone from the Lion's could fill in for you those rare times you are away. As you know the injection is relatively simple. The scary part is the dose. Even another neighbor could run over for the two minutes it takes. Think about it. Yes, we are joined at the hip. Bruce used to say that our personal lives away from each other only makes the relationship stronger. But we have lost that too. Even now, on the rare occasion I go out alone, he is so delighted when I get back and can't wait for me to tell him about "my day." Same when he has his time away. Funny, as exhausted as I am with losing the caregivers, life here has settled into a nice routine. I ranted earlier about the fact that I was loking forward to going back to work a few days a week. But Bruce I think thought he was going back as well and now his boss and I have decided that short visits to his office might just do him good. So again, my stuff gets put on the back burner. I had wanted to get my hair done, I have to prepare uniforms, wanted a mani-pedi, making lists of Bruce's routine when I am gone, meal prep; you know the drill. But preparing him for even two hours is a big task and I will be just down the street. Still I want it to be just his and I can't have him being a burden to his staff. You know he will be confused, bathroom(I think I have that covered), mobility (he'll be in WC on a rug). Anyway enough of that. As Sarah says, if I could make it good for him it was worth it. Funny Kira must know I am responding to you. She keeps pushing her little hiney into me. Wants petting and attention. Chin up sweetie. You are in some dark and trying times, another fork in the road. Hugs and prayers, Debbie

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Sue,

 

Yes, I agree with Debbie. A neighbor or church member should be able to pinch hit with and insulin pen. You shouldn't feel that tied to the hip.

 

Yes, the feeling of loss of what you could be doing is there for all of us, caregivers. I encourage everybody to do what you want to do..when you can. Don't wait to do it later. That time may not come. I can remember my life before William's stroke. Yes, yoga and swimming and cards and pilates and the gym and reading and sewing and beading and jewelry making. I have put all of that on the back burner for now. I just cannot find time for that. Yes, the trips that we used to take. 3 tims a year. Thank God. that we took the opportunity at that time to travel alot. perhaps we will again.

 

Yes a bubble that will emerge to the top again. It so much nicer to feel happy. I know that you are a happy soul at heart.

 

Ruth

 

Sarah, sue, Debbie, and all other caregivers we need to meet and greet and support one another one day. Australia looks like a good place.

 

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