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Sue, is that you?



I went out alone today for the last learning day of my theological course. It was the first time in ages I had been away from Ray for more than three hours. It is over an hour


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post stroke it took me while to adjust to the fact that i am no longer Asha (Senior software Engineer) but just Asha Mom & wife who never gets any thanks or money only criticism if job is not done correctly. but I have to remind myself I am fortunate that I still have people who love me unconditionally even when job is not done correctly. I know as per hindu philosophy. I just have to do my job(karma) right, rest will be taken care by God. & my job in this stage of my life is to be best mom & wife I could be, and I am going to try that.






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Sue, I am so proud of you and please give Trev a big hug for me. A whole day by yourself, for yourself. And look at what you accomplished. I feel pretty terrific if I can get my teeth cleaned by myself. I know that it is hard not to focus on what is going on at home without you, but you left Ray with the best and that worked out great too. Maybe it will also give you something to talk about with Ray even for just a bit. If and when the time comes when you will have a life to fill, you will find your niche. I know we as caregivers are somewhat isolated, but we have contacts and you will have time to review all that if and when the time comes. Just your connections with the Lions should be a start. Yes the time does fly by, some afternoons seem endless and next thing you know it's Sunday and sheet-changing day. (I judge how fast a week goes by that three loads of laundry day, which I hate). Just the interactions and conversations sans stroke are emotionally strengthening. Yes I do still have a brain and interests other than stroke. You've made my day. Hugs, Debbie

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My husband, Mickey, never cam home. We went to bed and woke up to stroke. The first year two years i was waiting for him to get better. So in this third year i have come to grips with the fact of being alone and with out him. He lives someplace else and i visit him. I keep busy with work, the gym and my dog sitting. This summer i joined a local Beach Club. I am taking computer lessons and a quilting class. On a social note I get together (sometimes for a weekend away) with other people who have ill spouses. It really sounds like quite a lot but I still cannot help thinking of my old life with Mickey. A question that nags at me -- How would it be to have Mickey home? I don't know the answer. Some days i am sure I could never do it, and other days I haven't a doubt that of course i could do it. But the doctors took that question away from me. So I try to keep busy and positive. I have found tremendous support in this web site.

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I am so glad that you had some time alone.


It is difficult to imagine life without your spouse. But, that is the way that it will be. Someday. I was sitting in church and seeing all of the widows. There are alot of widows. Their husbands have passed on. They are all going on with their lives. I know that it is difficult.


Your new hair cut it so becoming...it has made you into a new woman!




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