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What's Been Going On In My lil part of the world


jjohnson

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WOW, so much has been going on in my lil part of the world ... I'm still out here taking life a moment at a time. I think of Tim McGraw's song. "Live life as though you are dying".... I truly do try to get as much in my days as humanly possible. There has been joy along as much sorrow lately these past few months. The JOY is the simple fact my new baby, Beau, is fitting in quite well.... He's a bundle of energy and full of LOVE for me. He makes me laugh daily. He has been in my life five months today. He truly is a special gift God put into my life. I will always miss my Harley Boy but he will always be in my heart and I know he's watching me from Doggie Heaven. I have noticed some new "recovery" since I have had Beau. He brings me his toys to throw and he will catch them and bring them back to me and I either use my "gripper" to pick them up or I will bend over to pick them up. I didn't even realize I was doing that as it was like Jan pre Brain Stem Stroke. It just came to my mind last night that I was doing that. I mean I am not the fastest person doing it BUT I am doing it. I can't do a lot of picking up and throwing due to my Myasthenia Gravis, however, I am doing it. Beau gets so excited with his Mommy. We sure are a good team. He is learning to be a "Service Dog" for me, he wakes me up, etc. BUT, I think he is doing the better part of training me to be HIS Service Mommy. There is joy again in my life since my precious Harley passed away. I truly didn't think I would ever get over that loss, however, time has helped and some really great, wonderful loving friends. The pain will always be there as I adored my Harley but he wouldn't want me to be the way I was. Harley left a great legacy ... his legacy was LOVE and he would have wanted me to get a rescue dog and give it love... Harley was a rescue. So, Beau joining our lives was meant to be. It is so cute when I get up in the morning, Beau brings me his toys and lays them at my feet as if they are his gift to me for the day. Then he bows in front of me. It is so cute. As though they are his "offering" to me. He sure knows how to touch my heart. He has put footprints there right beside Harley's.

Next page of what is going on in my part of the world.

 

A very dear friend of mine who was a stroke survivor took their life in June. This has been the hardest thing for me to deal with. I miss her so much and she was doing so much better. I had been working with her for the past two and a half years. We would go to the movies, go out to eat, she would come to my house and we would work together. She was to come to my house that Wednesday and she didn't show, I called her Wednesday and Thursday.. no answer so I left her a message. The last time we spoke I told her how much I loved her and she told me she loved me as well... Her exact words were "I Love YOU".... the next day she took her life. Instead of coming to see me as planned she had her nurse who drove her and stayed with her during the day to take her to get her hair cut and get her nails done. I live with the thought if we had gotten together, maybe, I could have said something to have helped her, etc. People have said I knew her like the back of my hand and she probably didn't come over because she knew I would sense something wasn't right. I never in a million years would have thought she would have taken her life. I know, deep in my heart, God welcomed her with his arms wide open .... She was such an awesome woman. I loved her so much and I miss her deeply. She felt she wasn't getting better fast enough....But, I saw her improving. Just not fast enough I guess. I guess no one will ever know the whys.... That damn Beast Stroke.

I went to her funeral, however, the Church was full so we had to try to go into an overflow room and the speakers didn't work. The important thing is I went... she knew I was there. I went ahead and had a moment of my own to celebrate her life....I would take her a half mile from my home to the Chesapeake Bay and I taught her how to throw coins into the water....I would say "Now, make a wish" and we would throw them in... she would get so excited and smile. She shared my love by being by the water. I also went and got a brand new two dollar bill... cuz we were a team. I would call us "The Twosome Stroke Survivor Sistas"..... I cherish that two dollar bill. My dear friend, Bonnie, took me.

Last week my dear friend, Bonnnie, lost her husband to Stroke. I went to the Celebration of his life and it was something.

I just wish one day that damn BEAST will be a thing of the past.

The thing that bothers me is Bonnie's hubby was at the Hospital where I went for my last two strokes, it is a stroke certified hospital... but, with his passing, it sorta makes me wonder. I know that is negative thinking and I have had such excellent care there, but, I guess because he died there.... I just have to give it all to God and pray for peace.

I will be here for my dear friend, Bonnie, his wife. I did go to the viewing and she was tickled to see me there and thanked me for being there. I just said why wouldn't I be? We are friends and that is what friends do for one another.

I need to get through this valley of sadness and move forward ...

My Brother-In-Law, Tommy, had to be rushed to the hospital and they put stints in and they sent him home and days later he had a heart attack and went back, they didn't put the stents in far enough and they ended up being one hundred per cent blocked. He's doing better now, Thank God.

Now... on to some positive updates:

 

I have been trying to help my health.... I have, to date, Released 37 pounds. I don't say Lost as I don't want to find them, I say Released. It has been an awesome experience. I have been walking with my Rollaider. The weather has been so bad lately. Rain, Rain, Rain, super hot so I haven't been walking too much but I get it in when I can. I do use my NuStep Machine and my Richard Simmons Tapes. He is such a "Hoot"... Laughter is so good for the soul.

I'm still working with my cancer patients. I have had three more referred to me and it is such a blessing. I truly thought my volunteer work was over after my Brain Stem Stroke and the deficits it left me with. BUT, There's nothing to it BUT to do it. Where there is a will, there is a way. I still have my mouth and my computer and phone. So, with God's help, we "get er done" as Earl would say.

It's hard to imagine that this November it will be seven years since that day my life changed forever. There has been blessings, I am still here, I still need to stop being the Judge and Jury of Jan. I am so hard on myself. My life has always been my volunteer work.... it's in my blood. I still Host my MD Chat and I enjoy that so much. My MG has it's good days and ... ups and downs with it. Extreme heat doesn't help and this summer has been rough thus far. Extreme cold doesn't help either and those six feet of snow was really tough for me. I am blessed we have heat and a/c... my heart goes out to those who are homeless. I appreciate the blessings I have.

I look at life so different now. I see it as a Map.... The road changes, the route I might have in mind to take sometimes has detours. But, I just enjoy the ride... There are ups and downs, ins and outs, twists and turns. I just take it all in.

I just am grateful I have the recovery I have thus far. I still keep that HOPE alive and work daily to keep what I have and hope for more.

I think the weight loss is helping me a great deal.

I so enjoy sitting out on my "Grandpops Stoop" and enjoy so much listening to the birds singing their little toons for me, listening to my awesome windchimes. I try to sit out as much as possible, the heat is not cooperating with me. But, on good days, that is where you will find me. Beau has to sit out with his Mommy. He has a lot of "Jan" in him. He is a "People Person" as well. He is a great source of comfort and company for me. He truly is a good lil guy. IF only he could get out of his "terrible ones or twos" No one truly knows how old he is. The Vet thought about a year but he truly doesn't know. He is a good boy and I sure am blessed he is ours.

I spoke to one of the Moms of one of my Cancer Children I had worked with about 14 years ago and he is in College now on a Football scholarship and he is in College...His plan is he wants to be an Oncologist ... WOW.... He is a counselor at a Camp for Cancer Children. I am so proud of him.

I have been a Pen Pal for a friends son as he went through a "Boot Camp" for the new position he is being hired for with the Dept of Defense. He had to go to Georgia and go through some very intense training. That was a cool thing to do.... I enjoyed being there for him. He graduated yesterday and he is on his way back to Maryland.

Just try to keep my days busy.

I see my new Specialist today so I should try to catch some shut eye before my day starts.

This is what has been going on in my lil corner of the world.

Just remember, each day we are given a canvas... how are we going to fill out that blank page?

 

Always dream and shoot higher than you know you can do. Don't bother just to be better than your contemporaries or predecessors. Try to be better than yourself.

- William Faulkner

 

Never mind what others do; do better than yourself, beat your own record from day to day, and you are a success.

- William J. H. Boetcker

 

Achievement seems to be connected with action. Successful men and women keep moving. They make mistakes, but they don't quit.

- Conrad Hilton

 

Do the best you can. Be proud of your accomplishments - without comparing yourself to others.

 

Hope you are doing well.... Enjoy your day. Love n Hugs, Jan Remember: Without Friends, life would be like a garden without flowers... :forgive_me?:

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Hi Jan, glad to hear you have Beau as your trainee service dog, I am sure in years to come you will be a great team. I read that you are going through some trying times with the death of friends, we have been too. It is hard to get over the loss of really good friends, they are irreplaceable and it leaves a gap in our lives. .

 

Keep on giving us that lovely glimpse into your world and sharing your life with us.

 

(((Hugs))) from Sue.

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Jan:

 

you made my day by sharing your lil corner of the world. I am happy to see it is filled with some happy times along with some sad moments. I am amazed you are still able to do your volunteer work with cancer ministry. you have that kinder & gental soul who gives comfort to everybody. we miss you in our chatroom. Congrats on releasing that weight.

 

hugs,

Asha

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Jan,

I am so glad to hear from you. I miss you. I know that it is hard to lose loved ones. It brings that sense of mortality home. Beau sounds like an angel.

 

William wants to get a dog.

 

I will look around.

 

 

I am so glad to hear that you are doing the work that you love.

 

Ruth

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hi jan, and i am so glad that you have beau in your life i think that we all need something to love and you have beau , and that is very good news and you have all the little work projects to keeop your busy with all of the volenteer work that you are doing and jan i truely believe that god has made sure that alot of people come into your life for a very good reason and since you lost harley god new that you needed something in your life to give you jpoy and comfort and beau was delivered to your life and that is very good news and i am glad that you have beau

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Jan, thanks for your update. I miss you on Stroke Net but know you are following a different journey in your life. I was saddened to learn about your friend's passing as I recall you mentioning her here on Stroke Net.

 

Way to go with the "release" of 37 pounds. You go, girl,and never find them again...lol.

 

Love and miss you, my friend.

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