I am strangely at peace today. Part of it was getting a girly shower without having someone here to sit with Bruce for the first time post-stroke. I just made sure he had everything he needed and said I need to take a shower. Lo and behold, he was not on the floor when I finished-lol. So, it can be done. The new WC has taken some getting used to-awful lot of parts, but he says it is comfortable. Have been reviewing our financial situation over the past few weeks. I knew this time would come. The little nest egg will be gone by end of month and the subsidy from the government on his COBRA ends 9/1, so its crunch time. The private pay therapy will have to end. I am debating whether to continue for a few weeks more to await the next Botox injections and the Baclofen evaluation so he doesn't lose any more and therefore if any of this works, the climb back up won't be as difficult. Caregivers will be a luxury and only in most dire situations. Held back a bit because I am going to have to purchase that suitcase ramp for the deck, I have come to accept that. And I will have to start leaving him alone for a few hours at a stretch so I can keep the cost of caregivers down when I go back to work. I have been a mess for a week, list after list and stil the numbers fall short. But today it was like a weight was taken off-the decision making just became so much easier. The only issue will be the scooter and that has been offered. If that falls through I will have to look into buying one. But the biggest reward is that Bruce talked to me all day. Real conversations, observations and lots of laughs. Just now at bedtime Kira wanted his attention, so she sat on his TV remote. He was so cute trying to talk her off it-I was out of the room. He doesn't usually interact with her at that level. He offered to help with dinner; couldn't do much, it was all cutting, but at least stayed with me in the kitchen and looked out into the yard and commented on the birds. We have two butternut trees and I am trying to stay ahead of the nuts so the squirrels don't ruin the yard. On our way into the driveway, I had to stop to allow a squirrel to cross the road with a butternut. Bruce says laughingly, guess you didn't get all of them this morning. Just wanted to share and I pray this continues.