We went to the beach today. Our friend Carl, who comes every Friday night for a visit, wanted to take us out for lunch. I asked my best friend, Chris to join us. Talk about a small world, Chris met Carl at the hospital (Chris is Bruce's Medical Advocate) and come to find out, Carl is one of her customers. Chris and I grew up on the beach in our home town. We traveled extensively together over the past 45 years, but always with a water feature involved. She sent me to my first Poker school in Gulfport, Mississippi. Water temperature here has been slow in rising, but it was tolerable today. If I had thought about it longer, with two people who can handle Bruce well, I could have gone for a swim. Will consider that for the future. But tonight I think about those things that have been lost and can not be regained. And I know Chris is missing them as much as I am. Our goal was Brazil for our 60th birthdays. I look at what I strived for in my life and what I have been given. And I miss my me, but I am all Bruce has and I know he is in twice the despair I am. That wonderful brain and intelligence and overcoming a terrible childhood. His Aunt said he was a self-made man, and what he must think now. And so, I feel sorry for both of us,wonder what the future will bring and just want a dip in saltwater, alone with all of the freedom water offers.