Wishing and hoping and planning and dreaming, I know that is part of a song but don't remember which one. It certainly describes my attitude the first two years of Ray's recovery after the 1999 strokes.

The PT, OT etc did pay off and he did get back maybe 80% of what he had been - minus the ambition and the ability. He did learn to walk slowly with a stick but driving was vetoed at the end of the first year and I don't think he ever recovered from that. Driving was so part of how he defined himself.

It is not easy to adjust to the "new normal" and acceptance comes a fair way down the track. Maybe Bruce is sitting there wishing etc that he will wake up and things will be the way they were and watching TV passes the time. Ray thinks it is "my job" to look after him, once that was the norm.

You are doing well getting Bruce as much help as you can. He is responding to the treatment and exercise and maybe will get more back - minus the right arm. Even that may improve. After a few years Ray could hold his left affected arm in a cup shape and carry things in it.

Keep on doing what you are doing.

Sue.

Debbie,

Bruce sounds like William. I need to prompt most every thing. I had to hand him the shaver to shave. He asked me to help him. I decided to hold the mirror. He says that it hurts to shave. He was complaining today about being stuck in his chair or bed. I get home and say that we can walk around a bit. But, he only wants to walk to the chair and says that I push too much. I push because i want him to walk. I have noticed that his leg is moving more on its own. I would usually push it but recently it moves it self and surprised me. This gets him a little off balance but it is exciting. He is in physical therapy again. She told him that he needs to stand longer. I had him stand for 1 minute and he wanted to sit down. I actually prolonged it to 1-1/2 minutes. I told him that I need to work up to 2 minutes. He can do it. He just did not want to !! That is frustrating! He needs to participate and initiate this stuff. It is coming along slowly.

Ruth

I hope it all works out for Bruce and for you! I'm glad the Botox is working for him and let us know how the Botox fingers do after a while, OK?

I still can't find a doctor to get the Botox done. Most of them don't recommend the shot in this area.

Dana is only just over a week post stroke, but it seems he is more mopey than anything, and will allow his parents to do a lot for him. I am afraid this will be come a nice little place of heaven for him, where he can avoid the hard to work and a faster recovery. Being told that he will recovery completely, one would assume he would be happy and work hard, but I think his mind is more working out why and what for and how come him and not someone else. All these fellas seem to have the same issues in different degrees. I hope we can all encourage our others to do their best and work hard and that we will be granted patience as families and caregivers.