• entries
    27
  • comments
    171
  • views
    9,326

Life is good but it is really so unfair at times


kwaltke

1,400 views

I have sat here for what maybe 10 minutes I have a million things running through my head. Bill has not had his biopsy yet his primary care doctor admitted that Gastroenterology must have messed up Its not scheduled and for certain the notation is there to do the Biopsy and refer on to all all appropirate departments based on results and decisions for continuance of care. This is my biggest road block ever in life The tallest hurdle the biggest test I have ever faced If its pancreatic cancer where do we go from here I want someone anyone to be able to even look me in the eye and say they even care besides the closest of family. Its like the stroke all over againg no one is looking at me or Bill now its like its all to big to deal with so they have a need to be normal and we are not normal not if its Cancer pancreatic cancer and since its a very large mass in the pancreas the chances are ...... I cant say it ok. This was not on our to do list we I am reminded to remain positive I am I am positively scared out of my mind. Say a prayer we know how to beat the odds on strokes not on pancreatic There go all those million thoughts again. Please understand I am not whining and Bill absolutely is not the whining type I need hugs and please dont let go right away I am so scared Karen

9 Comments


Recommended Comments

Karen, Everyone is praying for you and Bill. A lot of people will read your post and not know what to say or respond with, just know they are praying for you. We all wish we could be with you in this stressful situation and give you the hugs you need in person. Please accept the love and hugs we have for you by proxy and our words. God bless you and don't give up hope, Mike

Link to comment

Darling one, one day at a time, one hour at a time, one minute at a time, breath in, breath out. That is the way we have to live when life gets tough.

 

As Mike said: "A lot of people will read your post and not know what to say or respond with, just know they are praying for you." that applies to your friends in real life too. They will hear the news and not know what to say.

 

No one can tell what Bill's future holds or yours so just try to make every day a good day.

 

Sue.

Link to comment

Karen,

 

You and Bill are most certainly in our prayers. Can you send me a PM and let me know what hospital and the address in Denver??

 

Just to reassure you, I know the pancreatic cancer sounds devastating, but Gary's cousin was diagnosed several years back with it ...went into the hospital had several body parts removed,including a kidney and part of the liver (as the cancer had spread) chemo and over a year of ups and downs. He is a priest in Northglenn and a couple smaller surrounding communities and back to the pulpit preaching his wonderful sermons again. Father Greg is in his mid-50's but has made a remarkable recovery from pancreatic cancer!

 

There is so much power in prayer. Please put your faith and trust in God that he and all your guardian angels here on strokenet will be watching out for you.

 

((((hugs)))))

 

Sarah

Link to comment

Karen,

You and Bill are in my prayers. This is really too much. I am giving you a huge hug. Please extend the hug to Bill. Sue is right....one minute at a time.. Very little is in your control right now.

I wish that we were all closer...You have a large group that really cares. I am devastated by the news.

i will pray that you and Bill are given the peace and strength to go thru this next battle.

Ruth

Link to comment

Karen:

 

you and Bill are in my thoughts and prayers. I pray for your strength and courage to fight this next battle. Sometimes it is hard but take one day or minute at a time, and make it good day. I know it's hard but we all are praying for you.

 

Asha

Link to comment
Karen, Everyone is praying for you and Bill. A lot of people will read your post and not know what to say or respond with, just know they are praying for you. We all wish we could be with you in this stressful situation and give you the hugs you need in person. Please accept the love and hugs we have for you by proxy and our words. God bless you and don't give up hope, Mike

 

I Will not cannot give up hope Its just such a reminder of when our friends could not cope with the stroke we lost many good friends the ones who remained were Rock Solid. Now I am seeing our friends glance away and down and looking for a way to escape once again Acutally I feel sorry for our friends right now They are as cluless as we would be if they were in our shoes I know my friends at strokenet are praying and doing all they can do because these are the friends who know intimately the pain of the loss when the road gets long and all up hill I love you all Its you that I turn to when I need to share the things that require strength in knowing and sharing each others burdens. I think the reason I do this is I know you are the ones who are survivors and can take it without sugar coating. I love you all dearly you are my strength as I am yours its lile we all get to take our turn at goodnews and the not to good news Hugs Karen

Link to comment

Karen: the one thing we all share here is knowing the feeling of absolute terror of what is going on in our lives and having absolutely no control over any of it. Most of our friends who went through these trying times with us and have remained "Rock Solid" are the ones who can face mortality. Most do not even want to think of it, like it something contagious or superstitious. You and Bill are in my thoughts and prayers every day. Please call a dear friend or relative and have them come sit with you for a bit, cup of tea and a good cry. Hold hands. Go have a nice long bath, pjs and time out on the couch. You can't stop your mind-seems I made notes in the early days all night long, but once I wrote them down for reference in the morning I was at least able to rest. Please know we are all with you. Debbie

Link to comment
Karen: the one thing we all share here is knowing the feeling of absolute terror of what is going on in our lives and having absolutely no control over any of it. Most of our friends who went through these trying times with us and have remained "Rock Solid" are the ones who can face mortality. Most do not even want to think of it, like it something contagious or superstitious. You and Bill are in my thoughts and prayers every day. Please call a dear friend or relative and have them come sit with you for a bit, cup of tea and a good cry. Hold hands. Go have a nice long bath, pjs and time out on the couch. You can't stop your mind-seems I made notes in the early days all night long, but once I wrote them down for reference in the morning I was at least able to rest. Please know we are all with you. Debbie

 

Hugs and Thank you The one thing I have not doubted is that this group of friends will be by my side through it all. One thing about stroke survivors and their Husband and Wives and loved ones they have been sorely tried by fire and not found lacking in strength, courage and determination Love Karen

Link to comment
Guest
Add a comment...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.