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You no looka like you



One more day of work. I am not complaining. Best thing I have done for me in 21 months. In a SNF, treats abound. We have a well-to-do patient who's family owns a Gourmet grocery store. Yes, even shrimp cocktail. I had her as a patient three years back and she says to me last night (very Italian, mind you)="Oh Debbie, you no looka like you"=gotta love it. Amazing she even remembered my name.


My gift has been Bruce's enjoyment of the season. Last year he was still too confused and after the Thanksgiving disappointment, I was hesitant as to how far to go. Scaled way back. We have a pretty little tree, always good music, Poinsetta's (out of Kira's reach, of course), stockings. The mantle is a new design this year, simpler and lots of candles. Bruce's favorites are his "Stinkers"-either wax or potpourri.


He went to work today. He is also losing interest in that-very frustrating. It was one of his goals and now realizes how difficult it is for him. But his team was pleased to see him and I was able to do the last minute errands without having to pay for a caregiver. He had on new pants and shirt, looked quite handsome.


Bruce had been mentoring a fellow employee going through a rough divorce and an alcohol problem. Our dear Carl has come every Friday night since the stroke. You all know what he does for us. Another gift, Carl has met someone and is engaged. He is starting a new life and will still be there for us, but in a different capacity. She has a disabled son, so knows exactly what we are going through. They are coming tomorrow afternoon for a celebration of Christmas and their engagement.


A year ago Bruce was walking. He balks at any walking now. I had had hopes we could do house parties, but as you all know most bathrooms will not accomodate a WC, so that has limited us. His balance is good, so grip bars were not an issue, but if he won't walk in, can't be done. His close friend-Bruce is his son's Godfather-and family are coming Sunday. They will bring everything and of course, clean up. I am somewhat disappointed in that we are here at home and can't enjoy other's beautiful decorations and warmth, but we are looking forward to their visit.


His Boss and family will visit next week. He and Bill have worked together for 20 years and Judy got me through Nursing School. So that is more than a Boss=Employer relationship.


This is such a season of ups and downs for all of us. It is a season of light, love and renewal; but our set backs seem so much more enhanced as well. I ask only that we try to appreciate those small gifts we are given and put aside some of the anxiety we are also given. I am learning to appreciate the positives and not dwell on the negatives.


Today a male Cardinal found a crust of bread which he took to his Lady Cardinal, sitting on the hood of my truck.

Snow flurries, so you know how vivid and beautiful he was and she, awaiting her gift. Someone spoke to me.


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Debbie, I lost my purse including my driver's licence and had to have another photo taken today and the woman said: "Sometimes we change suddenly." she then turned the screen around and showed me the two photos, one from just a year ago and one today. I was shocked!


Ray, like Bruce, is wheelchair at the moment, I push and curse as I scrape the doorways, past the cupboards etc.


Yep, had that voice that sings out when we behold beauty. Tearful stuff when we see nature at it's best.


(((Hugs))) from Sue.

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Bernie is finally asleep so I have my little break time (for a while)



I look into my wifes eyes now, and they're like sheets of clear glass most of the time, but every once in a while I think I see your pair of Cardinals in them. It's one of the things that keeps my hope going.


We have to look at the positives that tip the scales in our direction or we just slide down that slippery road to depression, we need to be on sort of a guard duty with ourselves, always aware of what direction our minds are being led. These things are easy for me to say but just as hard for me to keep up.


I hope you and Bruce have the best Christmas ever, filled with new hope and progress in the healing direction. (and don'ta worka so hard)

Your Friend, Mike



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Our Guys have their own minds. It drives me nuts. I so want William to walk more. and exercise more. He just says that I am mean. I can only push so far.


Just keep looking forward. Everyday is such a surprise. We don't know how they will wake up. What sort of mood.


We need to work on or New Years resolutions.



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