Enjoying the Quiet Time
Dan has been in the hospital for a week now. I am so enjoying my quiet time. I still wake up at 5:00am but I don't have to worry about scurrying to get a few things done before he wakes up. This morning I sat down in a comfortable chair, read the paper, drank a couple of cups of coffee, and now I'm checking blogs and posts. All things I haven't had time to do lately. I don't feel guilty about this at all. I really enjoy my time alone.
This has started me thinking about how much of ourselves we have given up while we take care of our stroke survivor. I used to sew, quilt, work with Paint Shop Pro, go shopping, watch TV, read books, and spend time on the computer. These are all things I enjoy doing, but the last time I went shopping, other than for groceries, was the day before Dan's stroke. I seem to have lost myself in the shuffle of daily life. This is sad. There are days that I am really upset by what I've lost but I never regret what I'm doing. He can make me so angry one minute and the next minute make me laugh. I just melt when he thanks me for taking care of him. There are moments that I cherish. Our relationship is definitely not what it was and it will never be what it was again. Life goes on and we remember the good things and try to forget the bad. It is what it is.
Now I must kick myself in the rear end and get my day started.
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