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Purple Mist



Good news, I think, but at least interesting.


I have been trying to get Bruce to stay up later at night. Once dinner is served, it is dishes, washup and teeth, pills and bed. First pills are anti-spasmotics to help him relax. After sitting in a WC for most of the day, he needs to get off his butt and relax. But as everyone here already knows, they will cause drowsiness. I wake him around 10 pm for the second round of anti-spasmotics and his sleeping pill. My only control here is dinner time. With the new regime of Bruce helping out more and having to do dinner and dinner dishes, I am holding this off until 5 pm instead of me just doing it at 4 pm for dinner on the table at 5 pm.


We have been doing this for two weeks now, and while it is clear-lol-that he is not happy, he will do anything I ask. Three nights a week, dinner is on the caregivers. Leo follows my lead two nights and Cathy is getting there.


With the weather report for the week, I have had to make some adjustments, so my work is not done; but Bruce got to the pool and to work, per routine we have tried to manage all this long, hard winter.


Tonight he lasted until 6:30pm. When I questioned him, he said he was "tired of doing his stuff" and just wanted to go to bed. I took his lead and we talked. I told him I knew he was not tired. He had had a good nap, no pool, and I knew he would watch TV a good two hours before he finally fell asleep. I said I knew he was bored and perhaps we could consider an early evening event for him. He said like what. I said Carl has offered to take you to Carl's AA meeting: good group of guys, supportive and a night out without me; Leo suggested getting out for a walk on the driveway to start the walking again or maybe just a ride on the scooter; maybe taking a course again. Bruce said he would think it over.


Some Cabin Fever, perhaps. Bruce's cognitive improvement has been remarkable this winter and he is thinking more in depth. He is adjusting to the new responsibilities well, as I expected. I also explained to him that the caregivers were here to help me as well as him. And if he did not work with them, it just made more work for me.


He has some movement now in that right arm and is working on it so diligently. I wonder why this isn't the same for the walking? It has to hurt just as badly as the leg, just coming back after two years. But everyone is back on board with those early exercises we were taught and Bruce actually asks for us to work the arm and for his Estims, so you just go with what you are given (its that damn Cat, I know it-he really wants to pet her with the right hand, while holding her with the left. And that Kira, she just feeds into it).


Made appointment with Physiatrist, even though the Botox is off the chart due to Insurance coverage, to ask if or when more OT should be considered. I would just like his OT to evaluate the progress and advise us.


So with the "purple mist" (our fire bushes blossuming finally-first sign of spring) showing, new life and thoughts to one's future. Please keep us in your prayers. Debbie


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Debbie, is it all beginning to seem like a constant battle because that is the way I read this. I get an insight into Ray's behaviour by looking at Bruce's here. The telling phrase for me was "tired of doing his stuff".


A friend (former friend now) once asked me if I was trying to turn Ray into a "*B* housemaid".I was really mad with him at the time but looking at it from a man's point of view I guess that is what it seemed like. Ray can't do bloke's work so she is getting him to help out in the kitchen. Don't know if this applies but something to think about. From then on out of courtesy I always asked for Ray's help.


You are doing well, doing everything you can think of to help his recovery. Remember to take some time to relax and enjoy life along the way.



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Debbie, my prays continue that Bruce will over come all of this soon somehow and will be able to function on his on to some degree. You know it just depends!


At one time I suspected I'd never walk again after remaining in the hospital 5 months to still come home in a chair. Then another 6 months later I was able to walk with a cane.


Now 7 years later I still need a cane and a scooter to get about, so I pray Bruce will get better with more time. I pray you remain by his side in this marriage, it's going to take both of you working together!

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giving more responsibilities to Bruce is good idea. I know more I did around the house, better I felt about myself. Though also praise his efforts & how much it is helping you.



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Bruce and you are doing well. It is difficult to get the stamina built up. Wm wants to go to bed early when he is bored. But, I haven't had to give him any sleeping pills for a long time....


I am glad that spring is coming and Bruce will be able to get out of the house more.


William loves to have plans for the day.


Keep up the good work.



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Debbie, I speak from experience in taking meds that turns you into sleeping or dozing all the time. Even just after you slept a 8 hour night. My eyes are always heavy, hard to concentrate on using the computer or watching TV, reading of any kind. If I have dinner as early as Bruce does I end up falling asleep for 4 or 5 hours wake up and could possibly not be able to fall asleep for the night.

remembertolaugh, Jeanniebean :cocktail:

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Great job Debbie,

You've always got it so together, Bruce is lucky to have you at his side. Bernie does the two to three hours in her lazy-boy chair every evening unless I push her a little to get up and move around. It's great Bruce having some chores and living up to them. Bernie is up to closing a couple of the blinds at night. Dinners are next. Happy "purple mist", Mike

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