Don't know if I'm ready, but jumping in anyhow.
Saturday is Palm Sunday. That means that next week is Holy Week. With it brings church services every eveining leading up to Easter Sunday. Those services need ley readers and additional Eucharistic ministers. Well, I'm not up to administering the Eucharist again, yet, but I've volunteered to a reading for the Tenebrea service and a homily for the Good Friday service. I'm facing a couple of my language deficits head on.
#1. I'll be speaking in front of a group of people. I'll have to deal with the studdering.
#2. I'll have to deal with reading for the part in the Tenebrea, because I won't know which part I am reading until I get it, usually the evening before.
#3. The homily. There is research involved, which means reading, and writing the homily, which means putting my thoughts together in a manner that is not the typical rambling I've become known for since the stroke. There is also being able to get the words out when I give the homily. It isn't scripted, and even if it were, it'd be only loosly scripted.
So I am definitely challenging myself with this. At least I know that no matter how much a studder, or how often I have to stop to find the right word, or rediscover the thought I was trying to say, people will be patient with me. This is my church family.
These are the people who came to see me, pretty much around the clock, while I was in hospital, ent me the blessed alter flowers on Sundays to brighten my spirits, visited me at home, call regularly to check up on me, brought over dinners for the first month that I was home, keep me on their prayer lists, stop to ask how I am doing every time they see me, and still send cards and notes of encouragement, especially if I miss two Sundays in a row. These are the kids in Sunday School/youth group and their parents, who can't wait for me to be back to teaching and have called personally to ask me if I will go to the canoing trip this Saturday.
Without all of this outpouring of love and support, I wouldn't be doing this reading or the homily. I wouldn't be strongly contemplating going to teh outing on Saturday. I wouldn't be back in Worship Committee meetings or trying to get back to the Youth Ministry. I have appreciated and leaned on all of the love and support they have given me since December. I want to show them that I am making progress and I want to start getting back to the things I did for the church before the stroke.
I wouldn't have pushed myself as much as I have if I didn't have my church family in my support corner every bit as much as I have had my family, friends, and Stroke Net family. I wouldn't even feel like I could try this without the love of everyone that they have shown me.