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Dealing with Carl's outbursts


Jeanniebean

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I'm hurting. I am trying to be a patience with the man. But since his stroke he has no patience. Example: We were in the car listening to XM radio when Carl asked if I would get the same station on the computer. Well the answer was yes. I told Carl to tell me when he is ready for me to set up his computer. Today was the day, I set it up, bookmarked it and showed him that is is just like a old fashion radio. It's like I told him all what he needed to know. He puts up a fit, talking very loud, no yelling at me. But I can not understand him when he talks that way. Now remember Carl had Aphasia. But I'm a person that does not appreciate being yelled at every other day. And I told Carl that. I feel so belittled when he does it. I forgive Carl but it hurts. I have sensitive feelings. But he continues to do it.

This whole week I've been having the chills. Not feeling very chipper. I have to stop writing now cause I just can not keep my eyes open.

Jeanniebean

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Jeannie: I am sorry. I do not have to deal with the emotional outbursts. Bruce just laughs at everything. It was a tough adjustment to figure out he was not laughing at me, that it was just the emotional reaction that stroke has given him.

 

My only thought is to walk away. Only you can tell me if that would calm him or just make him more frustrated. Sometimes Bruce does not want me hovering. I am learning to let him struggle, now that I know he probably won't do anything that isn't safe. But I also know that the angrier he gets, the more impulsive he gets. So I am out of sight, but can hear him.

 

You must gently remind Carl that when he works himself up, you can not help him because you can not understand him. You will leave until he calms down enough to make his needs known.

 

You are not feeling well and are tired and worn out. Not a good time for confrontations, but unfortunately we can't schedule those. Take 10 minutes for yourself and then start again. Best, Debbie

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Jeannie,

I am sorry that you are having such an awful day.

The stroke changes our loved ones. They turn into monsters sometimes. Luckily it passes. I just ignore it. It would hurt my feelings if I let it. Actually I do get angry if William continues to verbally attack me. I just let him have his fit and tell him to do it again.

 

take care of yourself.

 

Ruth

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