when things are going good
I always get scared when things are going good because I know something bad is coming my way so I can't get too comfortable with the good life. My dad was just saying this same exact thing today. He is the biggest pessimist I know and his negativity wears me down. Lately he had been acting very hateful and moody because of money issues and my brother quit his job so that put more bills on my dad. I felt really sad and upset like I am just a burden on my dad since I moved back here and living with two depressed negative people (my dad and brother) does not help me at all. I prayed a lot though and things have got a little better in the last couple of days. I still want to move out. I miss cooking my own meals and laying on my couch in my living room watching tv. I miss having my own space feeling independent. I hate being stuck in this room. My dad finally told me he's feeling better today and my brother actually talked to me about how he was feeling so God answered my prayers. Now Im just praying he answers my prayers for a job and apartment. I REALLY miss working and I know I need income to move out and get my own place again.
SSA stopped my disability check this month because they needed proof that I was not working anymore and unfortunately I had just paid off 1 of my student loans so I have been running low on cash which makes me wish I had a job even more! The good news is I just got my settlement from my accident back in October so Im waiting on that check to come through the mail!
I was snowed in last week so I missed yoga but I finally got out this weekend. I hung out with my bestfriend, I went to church, and I picked up some books and movies from the library. I am very thankful when I can go a whole week with no seizures. Im also very thankful when I can burn a whole tank of gas driving all around town in this congested city and avoid accidents. It seems like drivers always want to cut me off from my left side where I have no vision. I thank God every time I get to where Im going. I just pray things stay okay for a while. I needed this break from misery. Thanks for your encouraging comments.
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