Pam, we all just go on from day to day.  Since I have been a widow i have nothing to mark the passing on my days.  What I do is fill the time up in any way I can.  I know you do too.  I am not sure life has meaning of itself, but I think the kindness we are able to show others and the time we share with loved ones are the markers now.  Keep going my friend, you are doing well despite your pain and suffering.

pam, I do wish you relief in your "land of dreams".  we must hope that someday your land of dreams will become  your real land! I must admit I cannot imagine your life but am thankful and grateful that you are telling me.  your cry reaches me to the bone.  your poetry is clear.

wishing you a bit of peace my friend,

david

Thank you for finding my message in a bottle.

Sue in my hospital where I go for various docs and PT there is a white board that says"What makes your life meaningful" and there are post its to put up your answer. I wrote a similar thing you did. Amazing. I wrote that the kindnesses i give or recieve make my life meaningful.    I am dependent now. I rely on kindness. I am able to be kind to others.  We are here for eachother. that is all.

Thanks David for listening.