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Everything posted by HostTracy

  1. HostTracy

    Paul I have been rereading your thread and it made me think of something I've learned recently. You stated: I am trying to find things to be grateful for, and while there are many of them, I'm finding it hard to feel gratitude. This is such a huge delemna. Especially when everything around you is not in the best positive light. I know right after I was cognizant after my stroke... My reality was excruciating. Every part of it from physical to mental to relationships to time to perception to reasoning to opening my eyes to using my brain for anything. I was very paranoid, scared, and had so much anxiety I could feel it rise in my body, up my chest, up my neck, through my jaw. I was afraid my brain or my heart were going to explode. First I am being absolutely dead serious. I had a copy of the serenity prayer and chanted it over and over and over. My fingers didn't write well at all (due to dysmetria a type of ataxia) but I fumbled around until I found a notebook and pen. That day I started to do something on my own (I still had no idea what was wrong with me). I wrote 5 things each night that I could remember that made me feel grateful. Sometimes I wrote right after something happened because I would forget. I barely wrote one word things at first. Like: kitty, food, bath, bubbles, sun. Then 2, 3, 4 and then small statements. Like: went potty, took bath, write things, good soup...took a bubble bath, sat in chair for 10 minutes, awake for 20 minutes, Hailey read to me...my kitty curled next to me and purred, I sat in the living room with family for 15 minutes, my dessert was yummy. Somehow...someway this little thing helped me. Today I still have severe anxiety disorder with panic attacks. It can get in the way of many things and severely limits me. My therapist (psychologist) suggested I start a notebook using the GLAD method. Essentially very similar to the gratitude writings I had done. G=gratitude... L=learned... A=accomplished... D=delight. So every day i write a new GLAD in my notebook. The key is that it does not need to be big or lengthy. Example Day(write your GLAD about your day) : G-grateful for my mom L-learned a new word game A-accomplished washing my hair D-delighted when I watched kitty videos. If your day is ever like one of mine then another example might be: G-my bed L-patience A-brushed teeth D-my kitty. Some days you can be ver descriptive others maybe not but the good thing is it doesn't matter. Sometimes I am grateful for my bed, sometimes I only brush my teeth, and then sometimes I can write down several things I have gratitude for, accomplished, learned, or felt delight in on a day. Go by how your day is today. 🙂 Anyway, I just wanted to share... I've had many days where I feel the same as you said.
  2. Hello everyone I just wanted to invite everyone to come and join in at Room #2 Stroke Survivior Chat. I will be hosting Mondays and Wednesdays from 3-4 EST! 🙂
  3. Deigh I will be sure to try my best at sending out an invite a few minutes before chat. I usually do but I have forgotten before. Are you interested in the afternoon chat or evening chat. I know that's not an easy answer but I believe it is about 16 hours ahead of EST right now. I think I read right. 🤔 Maybe that will help 🙂.
  4. HostTracy

    I'm needing a friend if anyone is online. I would never do this but I'm not sure what to do.
  5. HostTracy

    Kelli I am so overjoyed for little Ryder, his parents, and his mimi and all those who love him. Wonderful news.
  6. HostTracy

    I am so blessed to say that my dad is diagnosed with Lymphoma. It's still serious and not staged yet but treatable with a much more positive outlook. Thank you Jesus! My heart feels much better. My throat however really hurts. I was diagnosed yesterday with strep throat. I had to get two painful shots and take 10 days of penicillin. Ouch!!! 😭😷 One steroid shot and I have only had 3 hours of sleep since yesterday morning 🙄. But I am so happy about my dad's news. Thank you all for your positive thoughts it means so much to me. ❤️
  7. So true Heather. I forget sometimes...i am one of the lucky ones or just in the right place at the right time. Deigh I feel your irritation.
  8. This morning I participated/finished the 1 Mile trot during our annual Mulekick 5K with several members of my local stroke group. My local hospital sponsors this each year on Mule Day for health awareness. Lots and lots of people participate... Most do the 5K and several do the 1 Mile trot...young (like probably 5 to any age). Those young people are full of energy and pep! They are fast and run the mile. Haha they were already on their way back to the finish line before our group made it down the river park trail to the walking trail around the bend. I was cheering them on as they passed! Myself and another stroke survivor walked together with her husband beside us. She uses a cane and a scooter... She'll walk for a while and then ride for a while. We finished last for the 1 Mile trot but then I caught wind of some truly awe inspiring news about another survivor friend of mine. He signed up for the 5K this year! Last year he did the 1 Mile trot with all of us but his goal this year was to complete the 5K! This is an awesome and inspiring story because he is young (34) has a wife and two small kids and was a RN on the stroke floor at Vanderbilt at the time he had the massive stroke 2 yrs ago. He has pictures where 1/2 of his head is literally gone. They had to rebuild parts of his skull and today you could never tell. His stroke was very severe but he has made a remarkable recovery. He wears an AFO on his right foot and ankle and has little use of his right hand. I stayed sitting on a park bench with a few others ready to cheer him on. We were told he was just down the road. The ER and fire dept. stayed with him either walking or on bikes and sure enough after about 20 minutes we saw the first glimpse of him slowly making his way to the finish line. We whooped and hollared "GO TRAVIS!!" with lots of claps to cheer him on. He did it! He completed the 5K with no assistance! He was the last to cross the finish line but a hero for so many. I'm so proud of him! We all had a good time and the weather was perfect. Mule Day is today in my little town. It's an annual event that started over 180 years ago. In the past 40 years it keeps growing and we now have over 200,000 people visitors from all over the country come each year. It starts the days leading up to Mule Day which is always during the first half of April. It celebrates an old tradition in the area believe it or not about miles and their part in the south. There are events all week like, Mule pulling (Similar ti a tractor pull but with mules), we crown a Mule Day queen, different craft events through the week, each of our local businesses get involved, there is a contest for best Mule of the year, Mule auction, festivities for kids to enjoy, petting farm (not zoo lol these will be animals you would find on a farm), a Liar's contest, square dances, and the coveted Mule Day Parade which started today at 11am for a couple of hours. The festivities will continue through the weekend. It's our little claim to fame. Google Columbia, TN Mule Day.
  9. HostTracy

    🙏🙏🙏 Still praying for baby Ryder.
  10. Deigh I haven't even thought of that. Yes spoiled 😕 unlimited fiber here and i remember when we also had a limit. It added up quick. Yuck! I wish I had a better option. Got put my thinking cap on.
  11. HostTracy

    Oh Janelle I completely understand. Completely.
  12. HostTracy

    Janelle such a proud mama moment. Just look at your Carrah shine! Beautiful! What a wonderful, caring young man and very handsome! Gorgeous pictures! I'm so glad Carrah could enjoy her ball... I know her struggle. So proud of all of you! 😊
  13. HostTracy

    Asha it is...those of us who attend really enjoy this effort together.
  14. HostTracy

    Oh Kelli thats great news. I just read this. Prayers he is much better very soon. 🙏
  15. HostTracy

    Hugs Heather. Thank you.
  16. HostTracy

    Alan thank you so much.
  17. HostTracy

    Oh my goodness I hopped off not long after I wrote. Hugs thank you.
  18. HostTracy

    thank you guys so much...its been a hard day and night....my dad is very sick and was hospitalized again last night...its the cancer its back and has metastisized. Its very aggressive and i was pretty upset. Thank you guys so much for jumping in. It was a moment of desperation and i was alone. Heather thank you...will let you guys know how it goes.
  19. Hello everyone I just wanted to invite everyone to come and join in at Room #2 Stroke Survivior Chat. I will be hosting Mondays and Wednesdays from 3-4 EST! 🙂 Hi chat is happening right now come on in and join. http://www.strokechat.net/
  20. HostTracy

    My Adventures

    Adventures=people, places, and things I have tried, enjoyed, and want to share! 🙂
  21. I can't believe April is here already. 🌷 Spring Fever has spun its' spell. Flowers are popping up to smile at the sun and trees are budding and flowering preparing to burst into life. I really like this time of year... It's a time of new and fresh... New beginnings and new adventures. The drab of winter is replaced over a few weeks with color, warmth, joyful beginnings, everyone is looking up to the sunshine even the flowers, inner hopes start to infuse many... A virtual treat for the senses. Most of us get a bite or two from the spring bug. Today, I ventured out and picked up a couple pairs of sandals for the coming warmer weather. Things are moving right along in my life. I was chosen to apply for THDA's voucher program to help with housing and guess what! I qualified! I have received my voucher to look for housing in my area that will WORK with THDA (Tennessee Housing Development Authority)... Basically section 8 help. I ran a little ad in our local buy, sale, trade so that I maybe could find something in my qualification range (which proved harder than I had expected). Guess what! A long time friend I have since 2nd grade reached out to me. He owns a real estate agency and he said he wanted to help me find a home. I was not expecting that and am over the moon thankful. Jimmy (my friend) has a duplex open that they are redoing. He said it would be about 3 weeks before I could see it they are gutting it and replacing everything. I have about 1 more week and I am sooooo excited. I have driven by several times in anticipation. Once I see it and want to try and get it he and I will fill out an intent to Rent from and the THDA comes and inspects it. Then using all the variables from rent to utilities to need to %'s of gross income they then will approve or disapprove... Many times if the values are close they will work with the THDA to gain approval. So I'm not holding my breath, I am allowing myself to get excited fully knowing that I do not know the outcome. I'm OK with that... I choose to believe that I can do this (fear of trying in my eyes is becoming more and more a path to failure... If I fall ill pick myself up, dust myself off, and try try again!!! I told God in a prayer that I am giving this to him. Trusting that no matter the outcome it will be right. I'm not scared or worried. I'll take it as it comes. Breathes in heavily, it's such a free feeling washing over me. I have started a list of things I want to do or have, how I want to do something, what kind of flowers I would love to gaze at, take care of. If not there then somewhere :). I will keep you posted on this new and exciting adventure... It's so fitting for the season!!! So question... What great advice can you share with me to make this adventure as exciting as it can be. It can be about anything i.e. Flower choice, suggestions about what would be really enjoyed, a decor idea, a storage idea, a l've had a stroke and I have stroke brain idea, ANYTHING!! PRETTY PLEASE. 🤗🙏🤩🙋‍♀️👂🤞🏡🌷🏵️🌸🌻🌺
  22. HostTracy

    You guys I feel the same. I'm glad you are still in touch Janelle. I think I would wonder about being worth it like you said. I guess because just reading I am putting myself in your place... It is literally overwhelmingly exhausting. One thing not to remember another to remember at a moment where you are in between not remembering and when you are able to apply to your life. It's freaking hard work to get there and there is a fragile time period where change can mean loss. It makes me lose my breath. I completely know the benefits and believe that many times you have to work before you reap the benefit... message "do it anyway!". That struggle is so real.
  23. HostTracy

    Deigh it might have been colder that day than mid winter lol. It was shocking. I was sick with a cold for 3 weeks after! It was bitter cold. 😱
  24. OK this is kinda confusing but I've been calculating time differences for you Sue and Deigh. Sue, New South Wales, as of today my time 7:30 pm on Saturday (April 6) the time there is 1 of 2. 10:00am Sunday 7(ACST {UTC +9:30}) or 10:30am Sunday 7(AEST{UTC +10}) depending on where you live exactly. #1 ACST is 14 hours ahead of US EST. #2 AEST is 13.5 hours ahead of US EST. I will figure this out for our chat times after you let me know which time zone you are in ACST or AEST right now. Deigh, New Zealand your time zone is 16 hours ahead of US EST. OK let me work on this and give atleast you two a schedule. Also I think Asha put a link up to figure out the difference too.