It is nice to see the blogs back up! I have been quiet and to myself for quite a while now. I sure miss everyone so much. It has been much needed R&R for me and I just texted Dottie tonight that I am going to try and visit chat soon. Wow, it has been so very long since I have written a blog. I'm sure a lot has happened for everyone. For me, I'm just trying to truly take care of myself and to find positive ways to reduce my stress. Since May 23rd last year, I have been on a very exciting journey! With my Neurologist's insight, I made a huge decision. I had a cryptogenic stroke, so no cause found and in that case you need to really adjust all your modifiable things to be as positive as you can and to prevent another stroke. I had addressed every risk up until that point except my weight. My body, endurance and other issues due to the stroke have made it very difficult for me to lose weight. I decided last year, that I would have a gastric bypass for my health! So May 23rd, 2022... I did just that. My highest weight was 284 and my surgery weight was 263. Today, Febraury 14th, I am 160 lbs!!!! The goal was to increase my lifespan, decrease my risks and to really put my health first. I have already attained that goal so every pound now is icing on the cake (sugar free ofcourse). I was diagnosed with Type 2 Diabetes Dec of 2018 and my A1C was 8.4 the day of surgery. The last time this was tested (about 4 months ago) my A1C was down to 5.4 and I know it is even lower today. I take 0 meds for Diabetes! My sugars are phenominal! My blood pressure med was halfed last month! I no longer take Nuedexta for PBA (I can't take it anymore but I am doing ok. One less drug!). In my mind I was hoping for some improvement of my stroke deficits. I knew better, and after 7.5 years I still am as strokey as I was before the surgery. I can move easier though, with less pain (which is huge)!  I am better at coping with my deficits. I do still have PBA, central vertigo, and good and not as good days, still exhausted, still have ataxia, still get super "strokey" at night or when i have excess stress or anxiety, still have severe anxiety with panic attacks and off/on depression. My body's ability to move better, easier is so big though and I am so happy! I'm still on my losing phase as of now. We will see what I finally get down to. I've been doing youtube workouts that are not tough on my knees and also take into consideration my fatigue, disequalibrium, ROM, and are modifiable to what I need. I try to do something every day for my body. There are weird things that my mind doesn't reconcile easily like realizing how I can fit into sizes. When I hold up a piece of clothing I say to myself "I'll never fit into that". Shockingly, many times I do and could fit smaller! I am sure over time this will be more easy for me to recognize. OK, there are things that go along with rapid large weight loss... lose skin, deflated looonnnnggg boobs, rash under my (panicula-FUPA-belly apron as they call it) that I have to keep vigilant about. I'm not complaining at all though. Loose wrinkly skin, long defalted boobs & a rash is nothing. I have been through so much worse and my health is so much better!!!! Today, I am working to psycologically and mentally get to my best me. Part of that has been a need to go within and be present with myself, rest, heal and concentrate on what is the best for me right now. I am learning a lot about me. Getting in touch with my inner self, past trauma, and learning to reach for my best. Making ME a priority! I hope everyone that reads this can get something positive from it. I am learning who I am, what I like, what I don't like, healthy boundaries, and to put me first. I can't express that enough! Put you first. It is a must. You will be so much more for others when you put you first. You deserve it! All my love, blessings and positive vibes!