OK you have heard from me and others how this is the new you and love it. I've tried explain this to some with conflicting responses.My mother has told me to except the new me.
This is my problem.. This IS the only me I know.
All of my memories of me before this are gone. I can remember things happening such as seeing pictures but not of personal experiences. You know how when you see your baby for the first time, well I don't. Having my son here, who is 17, made it more painful. I have NO memories of my own son. I told him 'I love you" when we were at the airport and it was much like telling a stranger those words
I had to come to the realization of my turning 37.. It sounds petty or vain in some ways but I truly don't remember the first 37 years. My husband, my children. Many of the stories I've heard are of memory issues after the stroke. I have those too. Like the movie '50 first Dates' I laugh about it and say things in jest but the fact of the matter is I am having a hard time with this. People tell me all the time how I was and that sounds fun, I truly am humbled about other stories I've heard over the course of my time here, I love it here, I feel at home with my own 'peeps'
Many people have told me to make new memories.. Yes I agree but I want the ones of my family and friends. It's so hard to explain to some family for If you haven't experienced you can't relate. Trying to relate ones stroke is rather difficult. My family is all in the medical field but i don't see them a lot. *sigh* you guest the problems are stemming from my in laws. But that's neither here nor there. Having a brain stem stroke effects people in different ways, I understand just tired... stressed....Just have so much in my head and can't retrieve it to put into words..