Hi Alixandrea,

Why do 8th graders need love, you ask? Because we all need it, no matter what our ages. But you are still young enough to be sorting out the different kinds and degrees of love, like and lust. It takes some of us a lot longer than others to figure it all out---some never get it right---but somehow I think you're going to ace this life course. Just take your time, be yourself and let others like you for who you really are and not for someone you might pretend to be just to get some guy to like you. Look for your common interests and values and build from there.

old enough to be your grandma..... Jean

Here's my 2 cents....

If you could never see him again but only talk to him...would you 'love' him? To be a good conversationalist is more important than the looks or physical side of a relationship.

Jean is absolutely right. Take time to learn the differences between love and lust and like. There are subtle differences and overlapping similiarities.

I'm sure you've heard the admonition to fall in love with your best friend....(ie be friends first)

Pay attention to how his dad treats his mom...that's how he will treat you cause that's what he's learned is the way to interact.

Also, pay attention to how he treats his worst enemy...cause that's how he'll treat you when you're fighting...cause when you're fighting you are worst enemies.

I, too, feel like a grandma giving advise.

Old enough to be your Great Aunt. I'll be your Great Aunt since Jean will be your Grandma

Janice

Jean took the words out of my mouth. Why does anyone need love? If I remember back to 8th grade, the thrill of the chase was wonderful, the intensity of the love was thrilling and the break up was devestating. But back then I thought it was worth every tear I cried. Love at any age is a thing worth pursueing. It just helps to remember your age and know that statistically speaking, it won't last forever. But enjoy it while you have it. Now I am old enough to be your mother, I have a son that is your age, and judging from how he treats the girl who likes him, he has alot to learn. Boys your age are so immature and niave'. What I'm trying to say is don't pin all your hopes on one boy. Just enjoy it while it lasts.

Pam

Hey Lex,

I have nothing to add. Your " Grandmother", "Great Aunt" and "old enough to be your Mother" said it all. Just kidding. Take your time, get to know him better, and don't tell Daddy. lol. I remember the love of my life at the time. I fell in" love" with him in 7th grade. Never told him. I hadrly ever spoke to him. But OMG I loved him. We got really close in 8th grade. Really great friends, hung out all the time. Just when I thought he loved me back...............BOOM!!!!!!........ he asked my friend to dance at our graduation dance. Talk about being devastated. A few days after the dance, I still loved him, but as one of my best friends. Be friends first, then see where it goes from there. Don't rush anything. And don't ever pretend to be something your not just to impress him. It takes alot of effort to keep that lie up. Your a beautiful person, inside and out. Thats what you want him to see.

Love you,

Mommy

lex,

i am an old lady, but experiencing love like you describe happens at ALL ages. you find someone who attracts you, you share common interests, and then BOOM!!!!! you arent hungry, you get preoccupied with him, everything he says makes you giggle, it's hard to sleep, ah

new LOVE is a wonderful thing!!!!!!!!!!

you are looking at this very realistically. it may NOT last, but why not enjoy it to the fullest while it does? there ARE cases of falling in love at 14 and still being married to the same person in 50 years!!! it happens. but if you break up, it will feel like your whole world is shattered.

THEN, along comes another boy and you are in LOVE again!!!!! it's a cycle. just REMEMBER, sex is NOT love. make yourself wait until you are older, more mature, and can make a wise decision about that. that's my advice!!!!! oh yeah, and to get to know him more, find out his interests and ask tons of questions. boys LIKE to talk about themselves.

aunt kim

As the mom of a soon to be 8th grade son, I'd say go easy on the boys. Remember they're new to this all also..They will make mistakes and have trouble sorting thru they're feelings too. Some of them won' be real articulate at their feelings! Give them time, you've got it now especially. Don't rush things and enjoy the little moments and boys with their (sometimes) crazy gestures.

Enjoy this crazy ride called love.... BTW, also have a 12 yr old girl, so I'm sure I'll be needing advise from your end in the near future!!

Another like your mom's and great aunt and grandmom, can't add too much more, they've covered a lot of ground...

Even when they get grown up they can still be confusing and confounding!!! But then again, they think we are a mystery! We are, but they are more simple and have simple needs, being loved and appreciated for they're efforts, which sometimes we miss because they are so in our faces!

My DH came home with a very expensive iron about a week before mother's day (dont think he realized his timing!?) he likes his shirts ironed rather than dry cleaned (and was trying to make the job easier)but then the xmas before laid a 2 1/2 carat new wedding set on me and made me go thru a elaborate hide and go seek for it- that took some planning and execution as a thankyou for 20 years of wedded bliss (haha) . So like I said, the dance of the sexes can be fun and confounding all at once!