Thanks everyone for the comments on my last entry. It really helps to hear from people who can relate to what I am going through and not just outside looking in. That is what I love about StrokeNet Well I am completely off baclofen now. It feels great because I am not tired anymore. I went on a nature walk with my mom in the park and I felt great. I can certainly tell the difference in my energy level. I sleep through the entire night because I am no longer taking short naps during the day. The only downside is my leg has been jumping. It used to only do that when I was nervous or upset but now it does it randomly. It isn't bad though. I can stop it with a little concentration and it does not hurt. Everything seems to be good but I am hoping I made the right choice. The weather is changing now and I need my muscles to be relaxed as possible. I have noticed my arm being more bent like drawing up. My hand used to just hit my thigh while I walked or hit my stomach but now my arm just stays drawed up. I know it usually does during the colder seasons. I just hope it does not get worse without the baclofen. It has also been harder for me to put my wrist splints on. My fingers will go straight as an arrow but my wrist will not straighten for the life of me. Once again I don't know if this is because I stopped the baclofen or if its just because the weather is getting colder. It might be both. My neurologist decided to go ahead and switch my seizure medicine. I had been taking 1000 mg daily of keppra for the last 10 years but since it was messing with my blood cell count, he is switching me to 200 mg daily of lamactil. This also should help my energy level. He said he didn't find any seizure activity in my brain scan but it is best to keep me on the seizure med since I am driving.

I got another call from Bioness saying my insurance is not going to pay for the H200. They call me like every week so I get the picture. I am still waiting to find out if Voc Rehab is going to help pay for it. If only I had $6000. Getting the device that would remind me how it feels to move my hand would be the greatest Christmas gift ever.

In keeping my promise to keep this bog positive, I just wanted to mention that I ran across some of my old poems and writings from high school. It reminded me of how depressed I was. I wrote about having no car, no job, no friends, nothing to live for. I constantly asked why this happened to me and what I did to deserve this. It did make me kind of sad because I still carry some of those emotions to this day but for the most part it made me thankful. Thankful that I dont cry every other day. Thankful that I am not so depressed anymore. Just thankful that I have accomplished so much since then and actually have hope now that I can get better