Today my mom and I were talking about the new seizure medicine I have been taking for the last 2 days. She reminded me of the last time I had a seizure in 9th grade and she panicked because she didn't know what to do. I guess between my mind going back to that day, transitioning to the new seizure medicine, and not getting enough sleep the other night from my nephew crying, it triggered a seizure. We were riding in the car and I began to feel dizzy. I usually feel dizziness sometimes as a side effect from my seizure med but it only last for a few seconds and I think about something else to make it go away. I tried to do that today and it went away but came right back. We started talking about something else but no matter how hard I tried to keep the new conversation going with my mom, I felt so dizzy. I knew I was not having a seizure. Back when I used to have seizures, I would feel dizzy, get a headache, and my throat would start burning because I would begin foaming at the mouth feeling like I was going to throw up. I usually passed out as well and my family would lay me on my side. Today though, none of that happened. I only felt the onset of a seizure which was the dizziness. It just would not go away. I tried to stay strong but I started crying because it wouldn't go away and all I could think was that now I won't be able to drive if this happens again. When we made it back to my mom's house I lay down and cried so much. I had been trying so hard to stay positive and thankful but my seizure meds always bother me with the side effects of sadness, mood swings, and suicidal thoughts. I told my mom everything. All of the sadness I have wrote about on here and some things I have kept to myself. It felt so good to finally let everything out. I am so used to sitting in my room alone having to hold in my cries. I had not cried like that since 2006 when I overdosed on some pain killer after finding out I was permanently denied of my license. My mom really made me feel good today just by listening and letting me let it all out and be completely honest with her about all of my sadness. My neurologist wants me to get blood work done tomorrow so he can check to see if we need to switch my new medication to something else. I have been dizzy ever since 10:30 this morning and it is just now wearing off. I could not help but think God made this happen to me today because I had been complaining so much about how no matter what I do there are so many things i cant change. Today He reminded me of how it feels to endure the one thing He delivered me from. I now know to be thankful for everything because my situation could always be worse. Last night I went to sleep praying the serenity prayer but tonight I will say a special prayer being thankful that I haven't had a seizure in years and praying that I never have to experience a scare like I did today.