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The grass isn't always greener



WARNING!!! This will probably be a whiny pathetic entry, leave while you still can!


I am bored, restless and lonely. I keep waiting for the warm fuzzy feelings of being on my own to settle in. They haven't shown up yet, I'm still waiting. I feel the loss of living in a rural area and not being able to drive. Yesterday marked the passage of three weeks that I've been living here and I went grocery shopping on Friday. That was the first time I had been out of the apartment in three weeks.

I have been bashed over the head with the knowledge that I haven't rebuilt to good of a life since I stroked.... I'm back to asking myself "What do I want to be when I grow up" I know three weeks isn't enough time to have dealt with all the emotional junk. I talk to the dog, but I get discouraged when his eyes start to glaze over. I even called the X up and asked if he was going shopping today? Now that is desperation for you! My highlight planned for tomorrow is watching the parade. Not that it is much of a parade.....20 different little League teams, the brownies, and the boy scouts and a couple of fire engines. it may last all of 10 minutes, it isn't much and it is sad that that will be my highlight.

Well the X just called, he is making a special trip to take me shopping. Gee, aren't I lucky?



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Geez Pam, I think you blogged my parade entry for tomorrow. Now I have to make stuff up.


The "on your own" feeling will come. You just have too much emotional stuff to deal with to get enjoyment out of it yet. Three weeks isn't near enough time. Give yourself a break, all your feeling is normal given the situations that led up to this. You don't sound whiny to me. Just dealing with an unbelievable amount of stress. Take a deep breath Pam, you're doing fine.


If I come to NY, can we go see biker guys?

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It's a good thing you, me and Cinder don't live on the same street. We're always blogging about our individual boredom. Get us together in the real world and we could really get into some first class trouble.


I have parade envy.



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Here's one for ya Pam....I ran out of smokes while at the pool and what is the first thing I do upon walking in to my house? Yep, come in and check out strokenet and then I'm on my way back down there.


Who bashed your head with all that nonsense? The way I see it you certainly have made a life for yourself. Stop and think of where you were and where you are today. You're one of the strongest, courageous people I have "met" and it's not b.s. either.


I can't help but to think of that song I wrote to you in a pm one time......."I..I...I.....gotta feelin'.....everyting's gonna be alright". Okay, enough singing. Take care, remember these words you have said to me so many times, "Don't be so hard on yourself", and enjoy the parade. Who knows you might meet some hot guy, cinder and Jean might show up, and you'll be the talk of the town!! pash.gif


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I don't even want to consider if all three of us lived close........I think we'd have one hell of a good time though.

Yes Cinder, if you come to NY, we can find biker guys. But no spandex!


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