Jamie, I understand the sensory overload as Ray had that but he also had me...I would say: "come on honey you will enjoy it when you get there". I didn't want him to become a prisoner in his own home. I would make sure I acted as a buffer between him and the world, found him a quiet corner, brought him snacks etc.

I wish I had some words of wisdom for you but I don't. Just sending you a (((hug))) as that is all I have.

Sue.

As it turns out, the hug is just right. Thanks! Today is a new day.

anxiety sucks----- i used to suffer from it . now with dans stroke i'm forced into the open... i understand that feeling. someday maybe.. nancyl

Anxiety does suck but it doesn't compare to this. I didn't get what you were saying in the rest of your message so I can't really respond.

Jaime: with Bruce it is always an issue. Part of it is trying to pay attention to more than one conversation, the other is too many people.

I have a huge family: six brothers and sisters, 47 first cousins. Bruce does fine in all family situations. Actually looks forward to them, whether it be two or twenty. He actually looks forward to family stuff. He is comfortable there. But ask him to go to a casino, museum opening-anything that involves talking and interacting with strangers, even with me or family as a buffer, and he is a no go.

We have a black tie affair every January. Family is the board of directors. While, pre-stroke Bruce did not care for this fund raiser, but knew how important it was, as a family member, to support it. His experience as a teacher and a supporter-recruiter for an Ivy League college nonwithstanding, he can no longer do this.

You take it one step at a time. There is no shame in acknowledging where you feel uncomfortable. As a caregiver I may push, but in the long run most of the work is on me and if Bruce really feels he can't do something, I appreciate the head's up.

However, if we start out and he opts out at somepoint, at least we tried. And if it means getting him dressed, out the door and to the event and he opts out then, that is OK, because we at least got that far. Next time, maybe in the door. Go easy. You are taking this one step at a time and one step forward. Debbie

ya i didnt notice i didnt finish or lost the rest... someday maybe you can go to the "party" maybe for just a few min. I hope so.

Part of it is trying to pay attention to more than one conversation, the other is too many people

I think you hit the nail on the head. But it's opposite for me and Bruce. I can shut strangers out until it's little more than white noise and even interact with one or two others--strangers or familiars but the combination sends me around the bend!

I have come to believe it is another combination--my personality and stroke that have "ganged up on me". I was always hyper-alert/hyper-aware of my surroundings which served me well but now with stroke effects added I'm a basket case. Don't get me wrong, I haven't become a recluse but I am very selective about any social activities and I do admit I "hang back" when in the past I was outgoing and life of the party.