It has been a very long and stressful week. First off the weather-oppressively hot and humid for five days. That AC makes me so claustrophobic. I need fresh air. Friday we had torrential rain. Roof in our PT room collapsed - no therapists or Patients in the area, thank God! We had another bout Saturday morning, but by 9 am it was sunny and humid, so off we go on errands and just coming out of Barnes and Noble I noticed some storm clouds, so I put the WC back and cushion in the truck. Thank goodness - because 2 miles to home, it opened up again. Finally Sunday, some relief and the AC is off.

My darling Mary Beth. Well, she saw surgeon today. Surgery on Friday and they will do a biopsy also. She so needs me there and I can't be there. Had the Surgeon call me today to make sure she had the family medical history correct - LOL. Family is so dysfunctional. She will need a week off recovery and I am doing everything I can to get her here for at least a few days. I think I can get the 18 year old to bring her here. 20 year old leaves for college tomorrow.

Work: well talk about communication - lol, there is none. We are the money department, what we do determines how the SNF will be paid. And we do a terrific job, but the real key is to stay off the radar with the owner. Keep all your ducks in a row, double-check each other so no mistakes and life will be good as we know it - LOL. These women just can not work together and with vacations and conferences scheduled, it is even more stressful. Some would say to me, stay out of it, do your part time job and go home. Thing is, I am the low man on the totem pole. Letting me go, in all fairness, saves the company almost nothing. Plus I am cross-trained. But owner would not hesitate letting the whole department go if we cause any trouble.

Now, on to Bruce. Bruce wants the caregivers gone. Nothing new there. He feels "babysat" and what 62 year old would not have a problem with that. So tomorrow will be day one. We will start slow. Caregivers in to help with meals and bed or nap. I am really comfortable with this. Tomorrow will be the tell, of course, when I walk out the door knowing someone is not coming right along or I will be right back. He is good with the phone. We have worked on the aphasia - keeping calm enough to find his words - something to give me a clue on the phone. Practice is one thing, panic another. I am talking him through everything based on him being alone. Today I was outside pruning his precious Butterfly Bush. He saw me from the deck door, sat up on the side of the bed and just waited. Didn't try to transfer in sox.

He will sit with the TV until the caregivers arrive, that I know. But he has his new Nook and knows how to work with that. BM will be the big issue and we have worked all week on his transferring with me spotting only. I really have to say he is doing well. I know in my heart if it has to be done, he will not wait. And can only pray that he takes his time and works it out.

So, so hard to let go. I know I have to. Probably should have done so much earlier. So many, for financial reasons, have had to return to work, can not afford privately paid help and have done fine. And for them, our survivor, just some trust in who they are. Bruce is back 100%. He may not be able to verbalize it effectively, but he knows. He knows what is sate, what he is capable of on his own. Has offered suggestions as to what can help him here and also knows that he is stubborn enough, that if he wants it, he will go for it regardless! I can't change that. I can only let him know that I have faith in and trust his decisions. Debbie