So the week went well. Tomorrow is early day and I will just be ready to go when Erma gets here. So we will try again next week. Bruce has oral surgery next two Mondays, so won't be leaving him alone then. But I've agreed to try the one hour plus maybe 15 minutes the rest of the week if he has no side effects from the mouth stuff. Bruce's goal for week four is to be at two hours, and waiting for me to get home from work for bed. That will start and cut down on paid caregivers. I did not throw away my paper bag for hyperventilating just yet tho - LOL.

I've discussed this with the girls. They are aware that they will be losing time and money. I told them that I understand that they may have to make changes. These ladies have their choice of private duty jobs. I would hate to lose any of them, but understand if they will need to make adjustments. Mary Beth wants me to consider keeping Erma for the four hours on Friday mornings, since the house is cleaned, linens changed and BRs done for the weekend, giving me more time with Bruce.

We are planning on picking up Mary Beth after her surgery tomorrow and bringing her here. Its about an hour and a half away. And I really want her to recover with some supervision. She is still on the fence about it, but I am hoping I have convinced her.

We went to the Nook workshop today at Barnes and Noble and the neat thing was we were the only ones at the 2pm, so had real one-on-one teaching. Then Mr. Bruce treated me to late lunch at Friendly's. He had his coupon and would not have the lunch Erma got ready for him. He had some fruit and did not want to lay down. He told Erma he had a date! She was confused, but I explained when I got home. Isn't that the cutest thing? I thanked him for the meal when he went to bed and he thanked me for taking us. Needless to say, he is exhausted tonight.

And that is exactly what I am pondering tonight. You all know Bruce needs to be really pushed into any physical recovery and quite frankly, I am tired of it. I ask, plan, push, whine, beg and it is usually no, unless I cry. But the amazing thing, and I do not know if this is related to the leaving him alone - and my bet is not - but his cognitive recovery. He is initiating conversation, even with the trouble word finding. Seems he is actually thinking ahead, what he wants to say. He's responding more like Bruce. Tonight I said I did not think the way I was going was an exit and he says "I beg to differ" clear as day. Seems less frustrated with word finding and rather than quit, is really working through it. Tonight we had a whole conversation about how he was feeling about being left alone in the house. He got to a sticking part, said "I don't know" and then thought for the longest time and said "I know what I can not do by myself" then "less money." Asking me about my day, remembers everything now. I can rattle off my list and I know he will remember all of it, even overnight. Tomorrow morning he will have me up on time, coffee brewed.

Maybe he has finally reached acceptance and maybe the depression is lessening. I noticed this about two weeks ago. But as with all things stroke, often think I am over-reacting, just looking for any needle in the haystack and setting myself up for disappointment. Also Bruce is hypersensitive to other people's feelings, so maybe he senses a change in me. Anyway, very exciting and I hope and pray it continues. Debbie