Cat,

I know how scary life can be at time. But, Mike is your Rock. He grounds you and make you serene.

Yes, thank God that you two were brought together.

You help Mike and he helps you.

Take care of yourself and Mike. he is doing so well.

Ruth

That is what happens when you bottle up and try to hide your feelings. They come bursting forth eventually, usually at an inopportune time. I am glad that you had Mike there to help you and he was able to make you feel better. You two are good for each other and are doing everything right so just keep up what you are doing. It'll be better after you have some rest. Take care.

Dena

I remember when Bob was still in his month of rehab after his stroke. I felt so alone and sad in the home we'd bought for our old age. His chair was so emtpy, and I stared at it, thinking he should be sitting there. When the spring lillies bloomed, I cried because he wasn't there to see them. When the weather started getting nice, I cried because he wasn't here to work in the yard he loved. And when son and I went to the storage locker to try to do a little dump from the other house, I saw his bicycle water bottles and cried uncontrollably, because I knew he'd never be that person again, using them, pedaling 60-100 miles a day. I cried for all the things he loved that was lost to him now. I don't think there were any tears for me... it was feeling his losses that were things he loved, taken away from him.

The harder you work to recover, the less time you feel the 'lost' feeling. We have been so busy I've not even been able to blog, or even send my son a copy & paste from my journal notes. I need to do that.... when I can breathe and think....

Cat,

I agree with your assessment of where you are in life with one you really care about and they feel the exact same way about being with you! That's the marriage I now have after three failed marriages and I feel God brought her to me from New Orleans, it's just great to be a happy man or woman together!!

I know the feeling when the two of you are on the same page in life and health!! I'm a happy surviving man!

Dear Cat, I am please that you and Mike went back to sleep knowning God brought you together and he is in control. My self, I kept alot bottledup , and after my stroke ,my husband had to work and pay the bills I felt a burden on him, but kept it bottled up,till I was shouting at him and at my grown up kids. At last my son asked me what was wrong and I just let it all out, and my husband said with tears in his eyes, that he was not going anyway and God put us together and he makes no mistakes.I am please for you and Mike and please for myself and Husband.,

Thanks everyone! It means a lot to me to hear these things. Helps me regain my focus on what is truely important and that is helping Mike get as much back as he can and just enjoying being with him no matter what his dissabilities are!

Cat

last night i had a similar experience with my husband but it was because i was feeling anxious and exhausted. I’m paranoid about my symptoms and needed his support. he was unable to do so because i caused him to have anxiety. ugh its so hard and so we talked for a long time and realized we needed to talk more about how traumatic this experience has been for the both of us.

It is good to get things out in the open once in a while but ending on an optomistic note beacuse we all need to move into the future with hope. Sure both of you will not go back to the life you lived before but remember there are so many of us in that position. It does not mean that the life you lead into the future will not be good in it's new form.

It is in letting go the past we come into the present and can plan for the future.

Sue.

Cat :

I am so happy for both of you, you got each other. I feel the same way about my husband, actually I feel my stroke brought us closer & made our marriage stronger.

Asha

oh those wonderful breakdowns they get farthur between but never really better... well at least not for me... but MIke is doing so very,very well..and that is what this breakdown was ( i believe) the realization of survival and the loss that has occured and the almost loss co-mingled and caused a great big breakdown..nancy -- thinking of you

Cat, I too have had one night like that, in Bruce's company. I too held all back, trying to take care of things, being hit every day with what was probably no longer possible. Having to take leave of a job I loved. Too many nights with little or no sleep. And then just lost it. Sitting on the dining room floor, a total mess and that was when Bruce stepped up. He had almost no vocabulary in those days, but wiped my face and petted my head and then when I finally calmed, motioned to the bedroom. Yes, quiet, cuddle time. Just what was needed.

But honey, the one thing I took from that was he was and is aware of everything going on around him, of his loss, the difficulties for me, the physical toil. And from then on, it was involving him every single day of what was going on. His stroke, what that was medically, how he had to work, what he was expected to help with.

We had a lot of trouble with the truck last year (I hate that truck) but when the engine light went on, I showed him. He directed me to Pep Boys and said get transmission fluid. I said and do what with it? He said, plain as day, "I will walk you through it." Just letting me know that my big, strong man was still in there. With my hands and his knowledge, we could get through anything.

I think when we realize that we are not alone, our partners are still right there with us, our relationships just as strong; that is truly when recovery begins. Debbie

debbie --- excellent ---- you nailed it..