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We survivors know what hard work acceptance of our strokes are. I remember that my journey to acceptance included massive amounts of anger. I held on tight to that anger or let it hold on tight to me, however it manifested itself, I think I used it as a crutch to feel false bravado. Of course moving to my own place and hammering out the details of the divorce isn't an easy task. I feel stronger emotionally these days and more up to the task. But I've noticed that I have a constant companion again......yup the anger has returned. Now I thought I had let it go, but maybe I just repressed it. It seems to be there, flaring up quickly. It burns bright for a minute, then it is gone. But I'm viewing all these moments of anger as just bumps in the road. The journey is the destination............



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When people have held on to their anger for such a long time, it's scary letting go because it leave a vaccum that is not yet filled. You get as restless as a cat on a porch full of rockers wondering when the pain is going to start in again. You'll get there, Pam, to that point where you know that you don't have to stay on the porch...there's a whole world out there to explore. Give yourself time to grieve the loss of your marriage and then move on.



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i don't care HOW long you have been divorced. there will ALWAYS be anger. it's how you deal with the anger that's important, at least to me. i feel like i invested nearly ten years of my life and for it to end in divorce( wer'e talking 1990 here folks) is still painful to me no matter HOW much i hated the sob. the fact is that deep down, i probably still love him somewhere in my heart or it wouldnt hurt when i think of what "could have been", or "should have been".


as for the grief of the stroke, for me, that is a different kind of grief. it's more of a WHY ME anger. how you deal with it is the important thing there too, for me anyway. i deal with it much like you pam, just try to ignore it/accept it and keep moving forward, but it isn't easy.


like you said, " the journey is the destination". what a HELL of a journey



kim pash.gif

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