I'm STRESSED and EXHAUSTED!!!!!!!!!!! The first few days that hubby was home seemed to go very well. Today (6/2/05) was a terrible day. The OT came today and she was moving his left arm, which he normally has alot of pain in this arm. The pain was so intense that he started to cry.

After she left everything went down hill. He was constantly asking for pain medication before it was even due. He became very short with me and everything I did for him was wrong or I was hurting him. At one point he said I hurt his arm and I didn't even touch it..................

Yesterday he seemed to be somewhat confused and today it is worse. I don't quite understand what happened. I know I was told that when stroke survivors are moved from one facilty to another they can become confused.

Also today, when I was using the hoyer lift - I had hubby up in the lift getting ready to transfer him to his wheelchair and for no reason the lift released and he went to the floor. I dove underneath him to break his fall. There was no way that I could get him up so I called 911 for assistance. The crew (of whom I know) was great and we got him into his chair. The medic who is of larger build started pulling on the lift and did notice that it gives when it is in the higher position - and advised me to contact the equipment company - of which I did and they had informed me that this is a brand new lift and to have several people pull on it at one time and see if it slips - so we did and nothing happened. I really wish the company would have sent out a service person to check it out. I'm afraid that this thing will give again and hubby will be on the floor.

I really feel that I am being consumed. I have had no relief - the nursing agency messed up and I will not have an aide until Monday. I can't even go the bathroom without him calling for me. Yesterday I had to go to the pharmacy and today I had to go to the grocery store and both times one of the kids stayed with him and they told me when I got home that he did nothing but yell for me. My day from 9am - 10pm is spent doing everything for him - I didn't expect it to be this way. Maybe its too soon - maybe within time when the therapists work with him and try to get him to be more independent and he also realizes that I am not going anywhere he will change and calm down.