Debby, I know how you feel, accepting things you don't like, because you just can't deal with every detail yourself. Handing my old home over to son & fiance to do as they see fit to get it ready to sell, feels like leaving my baby on a doorstep! It doesn't sit well, to not be the one in charge, making every move and every decision. But the first decision has to be to save ourselves.

Maybe the faucet will grow on you. It's probably so soon that the image of the other one is still comparing itself, and once that image fadess, maybe this one won't look as strange? I hope you can stand it, I need a new kitchen faucet and don't want to fool with it at all, too much process.

We gotta keep getting thru all these things, to the meat of the day, so we can handle that. Would heat help ease Bruce's muscles at all? or even BenGay.... I mean.. I don't know it won't fix it, but with the meds, it might offer at least a placebo affect if he smells the Ben Gay. Sorry he is running out on the botox and has to wait so long.... gee, if he wanted it for wrinkles, he could probably get it faster.

Bob's lower back pain and hip-leg pain are something he never talks about anymore, since he's been using this chair lift. Of course, he does have to NOT bend over to pick something up off the floor, or it will pop up and he could fall right out of the chair... guess how we found that out? Luckily, he didn't actually fall out, but we got the picture and agreed he wouldn't bend over to pick anything off the floor.

Debbie, I would be exhausted too doing all you do. You have two stresses to deal with - work and caregiving for Bruce, plus the home+ Kira. I'm glad Mary Beth is coming to help you relax a little more.

My daughter agreed that leaving Larry alone helps him to feel more independent. There are several survivors on this board who stay alone, even for longer times than Larry. Sure, things can happen but they will happen with or without us, as we have found. I'm afraid of something happening to me and what will happen to Larry. We have to take care of ourselves too.

So sorry Kira is still not up to par. This is another stress for you I know.

Furby goes for his shot tomorrow. Now that will be a stressed out cat, especially the last visit with 5 teeth extracted!

Julie

Debbie, there is a lot of compromising in the stroke journey. But you have to accept that if you collapse all that you have built here will collapse with you. So accept some things that you consider second best in order to maintain your own health. I wish I had had someone in my life to gauge when I really NEEDED that shower and nap, it would have made life easier from time to time.

Now is the time to plant a few trees of your choice, they won't act as a screen right away but will give you an interest as you watch them grow. What the neighbours think? Who cares. As Ray used to say: "They don't pay your rent."

You are doing all you need to do right now. Work ethic? Is she/he kidding????

Sue.

Looking ahead, maybe way ahead Bruce will be driving again and gone every day like I do now.. I often wonder how I would be if I couldn't get out on my own and drive anywhere I need to go hauling my scooter too like making my doctor's appointments, Walmart and store runs plus driving to New Orleans the last two times??

His time is coming!!!!

Debbie,

I hate to hear that you have a person at work questioning your work ethics? How crazy is that? Try to ignore that. I know that that is just more stress.

I am glad to hear that Bruce is doing so well.

Acceptance is necessary. But, we still have that hope that things will change. I know that change happens ....it is just sooooooooo slooooow.

It is expecially hard for us. because we are with our spouses every day.

I understand the faucet thing. I had new toilets put it and They were not my first choice but, they have worked well.. I do not put in as much input into those details as I once did. I leave it up to the repair guy.

Please take care of yourself. You know that you have to be there for Bruce.

Ruth

Deb,

I know what you mean about exhaustion and frustration. That is my life too. I know my work ethic has gone to pot, I have such a hard time caring about anything right now.

I know I need to work on acceptance. It is just taking some time. Take care of yourself,

Bob

Thank you, everyone. I think I am just over-sensitive right now due to the work issues. I became a nurse very late in life, but from day one, knew I was destined to do this. Unfortunately my supervisor has little self-esteem, her husband announced last Christmas day he was leaving - two young girls also involved. I would imagine a 60 year old, in total command and dealing with stroke is a bit daunting. Not to mention I am a favorite of administration. Ruth has also recently gone through some of this and she did it with grace and professionalism-no whining. I am trying to do the same.

Tomorrow we begin anew. Had some bad news over the weekend - one of Bruce's college roommates. Bruce is introspective. He will get it out in time. Mary Beth coming for the weekend, with Melissa to celebrate their birthdays, but her husband just returned today from settling his Mom's estate. Mary is not happy. But, the one positive in all of this is the re-centering. What is important, what matters. I was out of work for 2 years after Bruce's stroke. I work for me. If it is no longer positive, I can always teach. I need to focus on family and friends and that is really what is important. Debbie