Mary Beth and Melissa are coming for the weekend. Both have birthdays in early October and they try to come one weekend to celebrate. My brother will do up dinner big time Saturday night. John's back yard is perfect for Bruce in a WC. John only has three steps into the house and plenty of room for the WC, but asking Bruce to walk up those steps is big time. Brittany will be there, with Izabella. Bruce has never refused Britt and Melissa has a lot of influence - so we shall see. Anyway, just looking forward to time with my sister, so needed.

Been an interesting few weeks. Bruce has been staying home alone now up to 2 hours max and never when he is in bed. He has overheard me explaining this to various people and I noticed this week that on evenings, with a caregiver, he is waiting up for me. It dawned on me that he is showing me that I can let the caregiver go and he is OK to wait up for me. This is truly precious on his part. He is trying so hard. I am kind of letting him dictate his time - not too much emphasis on recovery. He is so used to being directed, given the agenda. When I ask him what is going on, he always says "follow you." So there is some transition here, recognizing that he has a voice.

It was funny yesterday. I have been manually adjusting the heat. Apparently during the day, he put it on hold. I got home and said what happened. He explained and when I tried to reset it, I couldn't . Bruce says "just let me do it." and he did - LOL.

On Tuesday, we woke up to the smoke alarms beeping. I replace all six batteries every January, but apparently the replacement batteries were dated. I panicked a bit and called the Fire Department. They said they would come out, but Bruce said, just replace the batteries again. So after a trip to Home Depot, I replaced all six again and Bruce was right again. So there is definitely positive reinforcement. Bruce chose this house, 32 years ago this Halloween. It is his joy, his accomplishment. Almost everything redone or remodelled here he had total involvement.

I know we will be forced to move in the future. I can not manage an acre yard and a house this size. Everything except the kitchen was redone in 2009 before he stroked, so I have some time. But I look to a dearest friend who lost her husband just after they bought a brand new home. She was forced to work full time to raise two boys and had to take in her Mom, and 15 years later, everything has to be redone, she can't do it and can't afford to have it done. And now she can't afford to relocate. In our case, I have to consider being able to move him in a WC at 70.

But for right now, independence. Hoping he will start and deal with what I call his "responsibilities." Today he refused to toilet with Cathy and again the discussion that he can't stay home alone if he thinks it is OK to sit in his own pee. Back to basics-get your breakfast, clear the table, dishes; wash up and teeth, Estim, reading. Then lunch and nap. Now I don't want him transferring to the bed and back to the WC just yet. But his transfer to the toilet is good. So progress being made.

His goals seem to be on a higher level, the "man" issues. I let that go and let him run with it. I am thinking if he feels he has some control, some connection to his "role" in his home, he will reconnect to basic body functions and daily grooming. He certainly is more verbal and conversive. A lot of it is me, we talk more, I include him more because cognitively he can handle it now. Still has trouble finding words, but can get his point across. Maybe I am just more accepting, giving him more time to get there. This afternoon, asked me to go talk to "the delivery guy, who just drove by, and did not stop." That was the mailman, who did not have any mail for us today.

So big improvement here and will keep you all posted. Nothing physical and he is so tight and stiff. But it is his body and he knows what he has to do. Debbie