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Peaks and Valleys..



That's kind of how I feel today. Lisa has had a very good week in rehab. Her right arm is really starting to come back, has had regular food for lunch all week with dinner being added next week, is standing on the Tilt Table for 20 minutes at a time, and was on a recumbent bicycle for 5 minutes yesterday for the first time.


So, why am I preparing myself for what I think will be the eventual valley? I have learned from all of you here that there will be plateaus in her rehab. Why can't I enjoy the progress she is having with her, instead of hiding my true feelings of possible disappointment? I have become so pessimistic during all of this. I was never like this. I always would try to find "the good" in everything. Those days are long gone. Lisa has told me that when we first met I was the most arrogant person she had ever met. I always responded with, "It's not arrogence, it's confidence.". All that has been taken from me. I need to figure out how to get that back.


But, the peaks are starting to outnumber the valleys. Emotionally, our family is starting to have more good days than bad days. Even the kids seem happier which is all I have been hoping for. Lisa has even set a realistic date for her return home. That was very encouraging for me.


All I have for today!!

Thanks, Butch


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if the peaks are beginning to outnumber the valleys, then you have something to smile about!!! i think it is only natural to be pessimistic, nothing abnornal there , butch. at any rate, when lisa gets to come home will be a MAJOR stepping stone i am quite sure. my thoughts will be with you and your family butch, and i am wishing lisa the best. sounds like she already has a good husband, and in my opinion, that is an excelllent foundation to support recovery!!!! pash.gif

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You're going through the normal grieving process, don't feel bad about it.


What helped me out a lot was when Kathy would make the slightest improvements I would make myself get excited like I just recieved the best present of my life. It's not an automatic reflex, you have to force yourself to do those things. After the intial force the emotion usually kicks in and you are truly excited. Great stress relief and moral booster for both of you.


You're doing a great job, don't beat yourself up too much.



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As caregivers, I think we all tend to forget that our depression caused by the changes in our lives catches up with us in the most unexpected ways. Like Michael says, don't beat yourself up over the valleys that are a natural part of the process. If you start getting too many valleys and not enought peaks, don't be so proud or "male" that you don't want to ask your doctor for a little temporary chemical help.



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See that's partly it....I sound depressed, but I'm not. Quite the contrary. This past week has been the best in a long time. Both Lisa and I are proud of the fact that neither of us has needed to be put on an anti-depressant. Not that there is anything wrong with that for someone who needs it. It's like I can't be happy about my happiness. I know I should be, but...I can't even put the thought together.

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Is it like you can't allow yourself to happy because you're sort of mentally staying prepared for something that to go wrong, if you don't keep up your guard? I think that happens a lot.



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