Sorry to hear about your troubles, at least some of the news was good. I dare not even dream of a normal life anymore,it's just a pipe dream as far as I'm concerned.

Nancy, you have been through so much over these last few weeks that I'm surprised you're not flat on your back. And yes, it does seem to go on and on. We have been to the ER so many times I've lost count. I am glad Dan doesn't have a clot. That's always so scary when the INR is low. I wonder if they will admit him to check out what's wrong. Take care of yourself the best you can and know we are all here pulling for you. All the best ~~Donna

I keep fighting , trying to have some normal- normalcy.

This might sound crazy but stop fighting. I think all of us want to go back to a time before stroke, even for just a day but we can't. There is no such thing anymore as "Normal-normal". Stroke is always there.

One of the things that is stressed on survivors and is hardest to achieve is acceptance. It is also one of our most valuable achievements. It is so important to caregivers and family too and often overlooked.

As Asha has not commented yet I will say: "Stop fighting it, go with the flow," and on my own behalf just take one day at a time.

(((hugs))) from Sue.

Nancy, it is great we got that option of going to the ER and having medical even because so many lost that when the stroke came calling. I tell my wife all the time we got insurance why not use it at our ages we aren't getting any younger you know.

Nancy: I don't know if it is fighting to have some semblance of normalcy - prestroke, so much as just acceptance as to what we not have, as Sue has suggested.

I packed the kitchen sink that first year in order to get to Mary Beth's for Thanksgiving. Everyone was on board and it is easy walk-step access, Bruce was much more ambulatory back then. Slid on his long leg brace when we arrived and in he walked. Except Bruce refused the commode and Mary's BR is not handicap-accessible We had had a terrific day, but that toilet before bed did it. He got stuck in the BR, took 3 of us to get him out and I drove 2 hours home. That was when reality set in.

I am so glad Dan did not have a clot. Remember that Coumadin will not kick for 48 hours so care for today and tomorrow certainly. Thank you for the chat last night. Nice to know I wasn't the only one up and worried - LOL. Debbie

Look I can reply with my iPhone , but what a pain. I know I shouldn't fight so hard it is just in my nature to fight for the best and the most and for what is right.... I can do, for the time being the physical aspect of travel with Dan but I know every year I get older that door will close.. So normalcy I know is now put of reach , but I just wish Dan could accept a little more change and let others in... Like Weston or Michel, he accepts them and then he changes in the blink of an eye....I know for my own sake I gotta settle, I like everyone else just feel cheated... Worked 2 jobs for 10 years ( so did Dan) so we could have a life when retired, travel a little enjoy family..., but most days even him enjoying his family is put of the question..... Rare are the days of animated fun Dan, the guy who is alert and happy to participate in life....

Loss, loss, loss, Nancy it is all about loss. Your loved one comes home from hospital and you are both so full of hope, your loved one makes a bit of progress, you are jubilant and celebrate every little step. Your friends and loved ones stop contacting, they know he is headed for a complete recovery so no need to contact you any more.

It takes a while before you compare the progress in certain areas with the areas in which there has been no progress, emotional, physical, congitive. That is when we start to count the loss. This is when we also stop kidding ourselves and realise there is regression as well in some areas.

I used to sing that song "Sunrise, sunset" sometimes when I thought of what we had gained and what we had lost, and what was now just slipping away from us. It is hard to keep readjusting our lives but that is what we need to do day by day. And gird up our loins for the battle ahead.

Sue.

Nancy - I'm different from Dan in that I am capable of being realistic & making choices. I've decided I'd prefer we stay home for the most part as far as going anywhere over night . I have a lot of incontinance problems I never sleep well in a bed without my handle so I can move & reposition. Also I really need my routine. if we go away & I miss a few naps. I have o tnap ^&sleep extra for the next week or so. Also being the wife & the one supposed to do the caring. I hate all the extra work it is for wayne. at home I am set up to do my own hair & make up- take my pills etc. & when we aren't here I have to have Wayne do so much more. I feel more bad about the extra work than the amount of pleasure it brings

at home I am a bit independent & when we are away I am totally dependent. & bathing away from home is a problem.

I know I'm exhausted & cranky after we have been away for a few days.

Nancy just my feelings .

Susan from the "warmth" of Alberta Canada

We've been having vewry moderate temps for this time of year