Clark,

I know there is nothing I can say that will help, so I won't try to "cheer you up."

But I just wanted you to know that I read all your blogs and I care about you. I will keep you in my thoughts.

Jean

Hey Clark,

I've got no 'magic words' either, just that we here care about you.

I read and care too.

clark,

i have been in the city of depession in the state of "i don't give a cat's ass ", too. many times. some times, dangerously so. once when my doctor asked how long i had been depressed, i said " since 1967". i am not kidding. i remember waking up with "feelings of impending doom" as a child. so much so that i NAMED the presense. i would say" mommy, ty is here today".

the ONLY thing that seemed to assuage the feeling was a bowl of cocoa puffs with hershey's chocolate syrup and chocolate milk. the "fix" was temporary. later, it became alcohol. i have looked for "cures" my whole life. there is very little written about about sugar /glucose levels in the body and depression. while diabetes is recognized, hypoglycemia isn't even considered a disease among most physicians.

i am not a doctor, or a shrink, but i will share my experience with you. it may not help you, but when one feels like you do, he is generally willing to try anything and it certainly couldn't hurt you.

by accident, i discovered that by removing ALL refined sugar from my diet, including alcohol, EUREKA!!!!!! in a matter of DAYS, my mood of doom and gloom lifted. why don't i always stick to this you may ponder? because i am weak, and sometimes i "revert" back to the IMMEDIATE fix because it's easy.

i finally found a book written by susan powers( the 300 lb alcoholic woman) who discovered the SAME thing, and now is a body builder and fitness celeb. she backslides sometimes too. i liked her because she fessed up to occasional failure. HOWEVER, if this is true in your case, it couldn't hurt to try. at least temporary relief would be better than where you are with this.

the symptoms of a person with a glucose problem, according to her, and me are as follows.

1) intense liking of sugar/chocolate as a child

2) over or underweight

3) hunger shortly after having eaten

3) nausea early in the am

4) tiredness in the afternoon, even after good night's sleep

5) family history of diabetes, even if you don't have it

6) pancreatic problems, if you've never been diagnosed,, it 's symptoms include mild to moderate pain in the upper abdominal area and in the middle of the back, generally after consuming a high carb meal or drinking binge

7) family history of depression/overweight/alcoholism

8) feeling of elation after consuming high carb foods or drinking alcohol, followed by a SUDDEN depression and/or feeling of impending doom

i was SHOCKED when i realized that i had ALL OF THE PREDISPOSING characteristics.

only you can know for sure clark with the help of your doctors. there is a test for this. it's a 6 hour glucose tolerance test., or gtt. if you have never tried this option, i implore that you research it. i want to see you get better, more than anything.

my thoughts are with you clark

your friend,

kim