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I have went crazy...


SandyCaregiver

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I am officially crazy now and the entire fleet has turned out to give me an honorary medal into the navy, since I have surpassed the requirements to be able to 'curse like a sailor'. No, it's not Bob who I'm cursing at, it's me, it's everytime I nearly break my toes off AGAIN, it's the cat that has torn a hole in the screen door, and the stray cat that sprayed same door, which seeped into the cracks of the metal door (did I mention this stray is not a fixed cat, so has full tomcat odor?) and I can't get it out. The entire foyer smells like you've buried your face in a hot stingy armpit. I have removed the stormdoor door handle, so my cat can not hang from it anymore, while sinking his toenails into the screen... and he is relentless on jumping up and trying to open the door, relentless. It is so hard for me to keep working on everything, while hearing him tearing up the door. It's like, I can't have anything, not a doorbell, not a gate lock, not hot water, air conditioner broke last year, did I mention the foundation is falling?

 

So now I have to worry that my 'helpful' neighbor will come over and see the tape I put on the door tongue to keep it from locking me out, since the knobs are off. You see, this same neighbor came over and found my battery doorbell not working, and tore it off the door (including the sticky backing that STAYS on the door, so it could never stick on again. I bought another $25 dollar set and when the battery went dead, he tore the whole thing off again - thinking because he was a man, he'd have to fix it for me, since women aren't smart enough to figure out those things. That's 2 doorbells he's killed for me. Both sticky patches from both murdered doorbells still stuck to the door, but bell backing will not stick to them. The part with the battery was supposed to be slid off the backing to replace the battery. You'd think after he'd done it once, he wouldn't do it again. So, no doorbell... forever. Torn screen.... No doorknob on the screen & glass door.

 

Oh, I had lost the key to the bike cable lock that I had on the fence gate, and so just worked it thru the wooden fence to LOOK LIKE it was locked to the outside world. Same neighbor saw from his back yard that it wasn't locked and came over and locked it. Now I have to call someone to come out with huge lock loppers and cut it off. I never would have thought helpful neighbors would be a pain in the ...er..... brain.

 

Did I mention that I still don't have full use of hot water here? None in the wash, have to handload it into the dishwasher - because the calcium stops up the inlets. Wonder why these idiots didn't put those strainers on the user side, so we could easily clean them, instead of behind everything where we can't reach them... spite job.

 

The taxes, the other house... oh my GAWD.... I am sure this is what a bad drug trip must feel like....

 

PS: Did I mention that Bob has a new phrase that drives me crazy? No matter what I'm trying to explain to him, he replies "so what?"

 

 

PSS: Oh, and the computer that usually helps me cope, keeps losing connectivity every 2minutes, dropping most messages/emails I write and stopping me from doing needed bill/tax/disability stuff online. That alone was enough to finish my brain off.

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Sandy, have you tried something like this for the cat spray? Maybe the carpet and upholstery section would be most applicable, I would try them all myself. Your cat is probably jumping on the door like that as a reaction to another cat trying to claim his territory.

 

http://www.ehow.com/...-cat-spray.html

 

And maybe some crazy glue or gorilla glue to reattach the doorbells? Ray used to fix everything, and I mean everything: cars, oil burners, lawnmowers, TV and computer, kitchen appliances....Ray was Mr Fix It and I am still in mourning for that part of him. But I am slowly learning to fix some things myself, with the help of YouTube and the rest of the internet. Lots of time there are simple fixes to get you by.

 

Wish we lived closer, Ray has every tool in the universe including wire cutters that are about 4 feet tall and were meant for the power company's high voltage use. I have got rid of some of his extensive tool collection, but other things are hard to part with, and are actually coming in handy now. I hate that I have to fix things myself, just hoping it gets easier and more intuitive as time goes on. Been working on our dishwasher for the last year or two, right now it's just a storage cabinet for the cat dishes. I'm pretty sure it's gunked up because I don't use it enough, I bought phosphate to add to the detergent plus flood it with vinegar every time I use it; it's better but still no cigar, as they used to say.

 

And if Ray said "so what" to me, I'd be mighty mad. He's still stuck on "I don't know" which is noncommital at least. But I understand he doesn't really mean he doesn't know, just as Bob doesn't really mean so what. Hang in there, it can only get better.

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Actually, Cootie has always jumped on and hung onto the door lever. He did it at the other house, but we had an all glass stormdoor. Once in a blue moon, I leave it unlocked and he can actually open the door. But he doesn't know why it opens those few times, and thinks he just needs to keep at it and it will again. Here, there is screen, and you can open the top or bottom panels and let in air.

 

Oh, it's not that I didn't have something to clean it with, it's that the pee ran between the construction of the door, where it can't be reached.

 

It really wouldn't matter what I glued it back on with, in a short while there would only be another mar on the door where neighbor had pulled it off again. If he did it twice, he'll do it again.

 

He has this impression that he needs to fix things for me, cut things down for me, whether I wanted them cut or not.

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How does your neighbor even know your door bell is broken? It's nice to ask if you need help but that is strange, especially if he doesn't return to put it back up. Have you said anything to him, like "get off my property?"

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Well, his wife sends him over with little things for me. So he rings the doorbell and doesn't hear it ring in the house, apparently, and decides to remove it and inspect it. Then leaves the thing he brings over on the porch and has his wife call to alert me it is there. Both times this has happened, when I went out to pick up the 'gift' I found the doorbell hanging by some glue threads where he tried to just stick it back on. But, like I said, the back is never supposed to come off the adhesive thing that is stuck to the door, so it will never stick again. You'd think after he'd done it once before, he'd not have done it again.

 

There was originally a wired doorbell which bell is still in place, but the wiring has apparently been disconnected from that, and used to control the therostat that installed years later. They also removed the doorbell from the hall wall and plastered over, but not that well, still very visible.

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It killed me, but I finally paid a handyman, someone who I know from my gym, to come over once or twice to do some "Honey Do" type jobs last summer. He cut down a small dead tree, checked the lawn tractor because I thought it was broken (it wasn't, thank goodness), removed the glass shower door and stashed it in the basement, did a bit of spackling, changed an electric socket and so on. Charges $40 an hour, stayed four hours the first time but after that he came back for free to do follow ups. He and his wife are in Florida until Easter, but I already have a small list started for his return. It's worth it if you can find someone who actually knows what they're doing!!

 

We previously had a house where someone who knew just enough about electricity to be dangerous had rewired all kinds of things, and with the cheapest wire available. My husband almost died when he opened up the electrical plates and saw what was underneath. At the time, at least he was able to do the fixup job. Glad our house now is a lot newer, not that the builder didn't cut a few corners! Taking care of a house never ends, even when it's brand spanking new.

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Well, it all has to get better from what you said it can't possibly get any worse. I guess you have to find a handyman before your neighbor tries to fix things without even inquiring if you want "Him" to repair the item. But on the other hand in his mind he is helping you with the problem not seeing himself as the problem when he makes the fixable item useless.

 

I been pretty blessed in that my yardman does all my fixing, cleaning and repair jobs even changing light bulbs and smoke detector batteries for me and he doesn't charge but I give him something for doing the jobs. He lives a street over from me so I pass his house every day and he passes mine sometimes just to see if I need anything done that he can do himself.

 

It would be OK if your neighbor would just ask you or inquire before he tries to fix something at "Your house" and ends up tearing it up completely. That cost you more money now. How does he know if you may have already purchased a new part??

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We have had a handy man over the last few years, but the last time he was here, he didn't act right to me. I got an uneasy feeling that he was getting senile or something, and wasn't sure I should be calling him for some things. I wish my problems were of the 'honey do' nature, rather than the "OH MY GAWD! This place is going down, bigtime!" (= massive money to fix)

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Fred, yea, why does he think he knows? He is assuming that women don't know how to do anything and since my man is down, he has to check things out because I'm just a stupid woman. Like, I don't even need a handyman to replace the battery, I just needed to go to the store and come back with batteries! But $50 worth of 2 doorbells is behind me now, and it's pointless to go on. Didn't need a handyman to fix the cable lock either. I have huge wooden gates, and even when I had the key, you were always on the side of the gate that the lock was not on. Meaning you had to stop what you were doing, go thru the house and unlock it, same in reverse when you were done. I just wanted people to THINK it was locked, without having to deal with all that running back and forth. The old house had chain link, and a padlock easily hung between the gate and pole - accessible from both sides. We thought we liked these for privacey, but they have turned into a pain, and my neighbor has now thwarted my 'fix' to the problem.

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Before I used my current handyman, I found someone in the paper. It was an emergency because my stove hood was hanging on by a thread, and when he came we found out why. It was a last minute install by the builder before the health inspector, they made me buy one and run over with it, but they put it up by screwing it directly into the kitchen cabinets with all different size screws, some smaller than your thumbnail. Anyway, this handyman was supposed to be a professional; I had the hood propped up with some small 2x4s i found in the basement and it was pretty sturdy, enough so that I had cooked around it. So to take a look-see, he pulls out a piece of wood and the whole thing comes crashing down! Blew out both halogen bulbs and the breaker, and made a couple of BIG dents on front which are very noticable since it's stainless steel. He did go on to put in a sturdy frame and attached it with giant screws, but...either he was embarrassed or I don't know what, but I told him a few other things I needed done however never heard from him again. Maybe he was senile too. Live and learn.

 

Then I remembered a couple in my yoga class that did repairs for neighbors in their "over 55" condo neighborhood, asked and was lucky enough that he added us to his list. Can't afford him on a regular basis but once or twice a year I can give him a half day's work and hopefully make it worth his while. What a relief! When he saw my husband's stockpile of tools, and that my husband CAN give a little feedback (his brain is still wired to repair things, just can't physically handle it) he treated us with utmost respect and I know he is only doing it because of our situation. The social worker was here once when he was working and begged for him to come to her house too as she is a widow, but he turned her down flat. Gotta start attending yoga again, they're due back in a month or so ;-) A good handyman is like gold in your pocket.

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Sandy: you are having the same kind of week I am - LOL. But we will get through it, we always do. I actually have the Contractor and also his buddy, who does the odd jobs. But I do understand honey, that with two homes to maintain, you are trying to do as much as you can, on your own.

 

With the WC issues, I was fortunate enough to have the WC adjustment man sort out which tools I needed and I keep them separate. And of course, Carl comes regularly and there is nothing he can't do.

 

I do agree that you need to speak to the neighbor - nicely. Explain that you know he is "on board" and a good neighbor. Some things you can do, you just need time to get to and you will certainly let him know when you need his advice. One has to appreciate that you have people looking out for you, but you need to establish some guidelines as to when you will ask for help.

 

Go easy honey. Let me know if you got the down time in. I downloaded a book today and was able to fit in an hour uninterrupted. Made a world of difference in my attitude - LOL. Debbie

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I have been thinking how nice it would be to be able to read a book again. Last one I read took about 9 months and it was that stroke book, 100 names for love. Read it 2 sentences at a time.

 

But, I would like to just read a book, a book for folly. I do record a Latino soap and watch it at night when Bob is in bed. It is 1 hour and SOMETHING for me. I do believe removing the door handles to keep the cat from tearing on the door has helped me, it's so nice to not hear him jumping on it and clawing to stay up. I think I'll make a doctors appt and see if he is willing to give me something without thinking I'm just after drugs.

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oh, and either my cat Cootie or the stray has jumped up on my big living room window outside sill and left HUGE muddy payprints all over the white brick and the window.... no problem.. the rain willl..... no wait, the rain can't reach the porch because of that big overhang. Oh wait, I'll go scrub that down in my free time, probably will find it is a daily chore that needs to be done, which = look at my 2 tone house, cause I ain't doing it!!

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Sandy: the stray must be in heat - either male or female. Keep Cootie in for a few weeks. Dealing with a litter box is much easier than what you are going through and yes, removing the door handles was a wise move.

 

Sandy, I forced myself into the shower tonight-moisturize, clean PJs. I am exahusted and have a terrible week coming up. But also will take some time to read the new novel. Once I pop Bruce into bed, I spend most of the rest of the night setting up for the next day - and this week is impossible. I have great help, but they need direction and I need to be out of the house by 7:45am. That includes grooming and dressing Bruce, because he will not do that with caregivers. He has several appointments this week and he will not go to them looking neglected. When I reflected this afternoon must how much needed to be done , just accepted that I will be much more productive if I had some me time. Just think about it. Debbie

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Debbie, this cat was dumped here about a year ago, and caterwolls loudly, because it can't understand why no one helps it. The reason why it is out there, instead of inside somewhere is the same reason Cootie is out there - it sprays. So as soon as someone tries to befriend it, it pays them back by spraying there house - and it is not fixed, so full tomcat smell. At least Cooties pee is more bearable, because he was fixed young. Both are male.

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