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Making Headway, or maybe not



Yesterday, I was able to get an appointment for Bruce with the Dentist. Like all of you, scheduling this stuff around work and caregivers is daunting and as I said to the Dentist today, there is not a lot of wiggle room.


Bruce first complained of the mouth pain the night of the blizzard. As soon as the driveway was cleared three days later, I ran out and got Orajel, which helped. I called his Dentist. They are in a business condo complex, way in the back and it took another week before they were cleared out enough to even suggest I could get Bruce in with the WC. Yesterday was the appointment. I went to work (my double day) and Erma came and got Bruce ready and me packed. Cathy was coming to take care of Bruce later and me to go back to work and when I walk in the door - Dentist called to cancel.


This wonderful group of people were on the phone with me for the next hour (and I must say I was not very pleasant) trying to sort this all out.


Now Kira had her Vet appointment this morning - that is always quick, so Dentist said bring Bruce along as soon as you can. I went to work for two hours. Cathy came to help out here at home.


Kira's first blood results on her elevated Calcium will be tomorrow. The ionized Calcium won't be ready until the weekend. But it was a very long and difficult blood draw. Her little back leg is shaved and bruised. Then off to Dentist. The tooth and some surrounding bone were infected and had to come out. Bruce is a trooper when it comes to pain and after two hours in the chair, even I was exhausted.


So, two down, one to go. Bruce's Botox for tomorrow. I scheduled this back 20 weeks ago. It is impossible to get an appointment with Bruce's Physiatrist. Botox should be given every 12 weeks and even that far out, appointment was still past the due time. Bruce's dose kicks at day 10 and is totally worn off by week 10. And of course, snow storm due tonight. Bruce's clinic is on a mountain - north of us (of course) and there is always the issue of the ramp. And now part of me says even if I can get him there, do I really want that incision exposed to a Clinic setting? Just always hate to have to make these decisions. As zonked as Bruce is, he assures me he will be fine. As a nurse, I know he needs to avoid public for a few days, and as his caregiver know he is in pain and way too stiff to be comfortable. Plus the right leg is bouncing all over the place.


In all of this I had to take a step back. At what point did Bruce NOT become the priority and also Kira. This is my family. I know work is my outlet and I am responsible for others but I went back to work with the agreement that Bruce's needs were my priority. I do dislike canceling the caregivers. These girls work so hard and do so need the extra money, but they also understand. And another part of me knows they loved being depended on, having to pick up the extras: packing me, making sure Bruce ate and was toileted. Erma made mashed potatoes in preparation because she knows Cathy has trouble cooking. They are part of the family and I know, best as they can, they have my back. But Bruce is my priority. He'll do more with them if he knows it helps me, but really prefers me - of course. So I took some time off this week and will have to next week for Bruce's followup appointment and for the financials that got messed up.


But both of them are asleep right now. Real partners in crime - LOL! Storm just came in and it is freezing rain right now. Who knows what the morning will bring. Kira is medicated for the night, will do Bruce shortly. And then weather report and bed. Debbie


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Debbie, you make me rethink wanting to go back to work! I did keep working my main job for 8 months after Ray's stroke (with five months of it, him being home), but I stopped the other two part time jobs I had (and loved!) so thought it would be a breeze. Not so. I think I ignored Ray's needs a lot when I was working too, just didn't realize it at the time. You're a lot better organized than me, and you are handling it well, but be careful nonetheless! There are no easy answers here. Can't wait for Medicare to kick in. Hang in there (remember the poster with the kitten hanging from a branch? like that!)

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Debbie, Seems I've always noticed that it all hits the fan here on Friday, right after all doctor's offices close till Monday! I'm glad the tooth thing is behind you. That was a big worry with me and Bob. I thought, sure as I get him there, he'll say he has to poop and it will all go down hill from there.


The things coming up sound awful even in good weather. I know we plaster each other here with our prayers and strong vibes - so consider yourself plastered!

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Debbie, no matter, you are making headway. Taking care of Bruce, your home, Kira, working and still keeping up with it all. It's amazing to me.


I know the caregivers help and you have friends who can chip in if needed for a "fix up" or whatever, but all in all, you have a lot on your plate. Everytime I feel like I am all alone and overwhelmed, I think of you.


Thanks for being such a good role model in this caregiving world.



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Debbie, you are amazing, and all you care givers are wonderful. Hope the weather is not to bad, Iam in Florida and the weather right now is lovely. Iam going to England, and my sister says it is cold! That should be fun.

You are both in my prayers.


God bless Yvonne

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