Jhari's Blog

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A Fall Today



I was just thinking the other day, it's been quite awhile since mom has had a fall. She has been doing ok, up and down. I did get her out last week. Took her for a long ride, went through the McD drive-thru. It was a wonderful, sunny day. That did alot to lift her spirits. The 1st time she'd been out since, I think, October.


Some day s I can understand almost everything she is trying to say. Some days I don't have a clue. She keeps patting her face and saying, "it's awful". I don't know if it hurts or she is just talking about now being able to express herself. I know she gets discouraged because when she is around people she tries to fit in, join in the conversation, but usually she can't keep up and then she just looks so sad. She said she wants to just die.


I had been walking with her everyday, but then she was sick about a month ago and she just quit. She gets upset if I suggest it. I do still read to her everyday, so at least she will let me do that. I had been there this afternoon for about 3 hrs. and then came home to get my grandkids off the bus. I got a call from the home and mom had fallen off the toilet while trying to transfer herself. No bruises or bumps that they saw and full ROM, but said she complained of shoulder and face pain. Oh brother!! So hopefully she will be ok. I can't make her understand, I just want her to stay as strong as she can and not go backward. I can't wait until the weather is nice enough to take her out on the wonderful porch there and feed the ducks.


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I hate the falls, so frightening to us and they can't tell us how they feel. What does full ROM mean?


Don't be afraid to ask her what she means. If she is patting her face and saying it's awful, ask: What's awful, do you have a toothache / mouth pain? wait for an answer. if she says no, 'do you mean because you can't say what you want? The only other thing I can think of that might be awful when she does that is if she has pain in her face nerve, so, "does your face hurt?"

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After two years, I finally figured out that when Ray points to his face (and he does it often) he is telling me that his brain isn't working right, that he can't do what he should be doing at that moment. Funny how long it took me to figure it out. i kept thinking it was everything but.

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jhari, boy oh boy do i know what you mean......i wish , i wish our loved ones could just have peace within themselves, they are loved......

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Well, as you know we only get one mom to love and cherish all of her life and ours too. You are doing all you can by being close to her during these trying times in her life.You can't go wrong by Honoring your mother and father and your days upon this earth will be lengthen is what I learned long time ago.


She may not be able to tell you like she want to but you know and can tell her love for you is ever lasting lasting. I feel with all I had happen to me and I'm still here I honored my mom. What ever she does you can bet other survivors has done the same thing. I know I fell from the toilet while in the hospital and still couldn't walk at that time.

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Jhari: just so relieved Mom was not hurt. She has been very careful and for that you can be thankful.


I think all of us are awaiting Spring. Yes, sun, light and movement. But just the fact that she is still willing to sit in a group, interact for some time is so positive. Yes, frustrating, but she must see improvement or she wouldn't do it at all.


The face holding - do check her teeth. If dentures, make sure they still fit well. If natural teeth, run your finger along her gum lines, make sure she does not wince. If she does, maybe time for the dentist. But really, my money is on you. I mostly agree she is just venting frustration.


Spring is coming honey. We will soon have our light and sun and those patio days will be back. Go easy, Debbie

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