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2 year strokeaversary today....


nancyl

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today it has officially been 2 years since the stroke... seems like a lifetime ago...and beyond dans continued strike.. it was a bad day....dan did take his pills today and drank a milkshake finally at like 8 pm....but nothing else.....he got up and showered and sat up in his chair for a couple hours.. i have no idea where his strength comes from.. but i am sure he will crash in a big way...so my bad day.. we know the condo people already don't appreciate us.. today i was told no to the sidewalks i had requested to put in ( my expense) from the garage to the patio and the patio to the common driveway... anyways they want to stay uniform in their presentation of the buildings, and was again chastised for my dogs ( just their existence) and chastised for not parking in the garage, chastised for the amount of foot traffic coming to and from my condo..and ever so politely asked and told why on earth did i choose to come here..... ( this condo is NOT a over 55 condo unit)..... we are here cause of the handicap layout... and the location... and who cares .... i paid 200 thousand for this place, leave me alone...?? but i went over all the issues as well as i could with the lady who definatley had a bug put in her ear by the fat lazy diabetic next door who has a mirror strategically placed to watch all my transgressions....he sits all day in his arm chair and watches TV and his mirror is placed so perfect so he can watch all... anyhow.. i am a fighter.. i told her to put in writting the condo is turning down my request for sidewalks to allow access to my handicapped husband into his patio door.... and told her there will be legal action ( and their will) .. and told her to put in writting all my families transgretions and i will correct the ones i am legally bound to correct... but traffic is my family , sorry no laws against that, the cars are both operable so can leave them in my driveway if i want to.... the dogs are leashed ...... then i invited into my home and made her watch as i tried to rationalize with dan about his not drinking... i think she absorbed some of my world in those 5 mins..... then i told her of my dealings with the neighbor with the mirror.. how he used profanity and told me he would put the cabosh on my sidewalks... and a lite went on for her when she called it a driveway to my patio ... i said thats larry who did this isent it.... i never asked for a driveway i asked for sidewalks, and he kept saying i was gonna turn it into a driveway, so he came to you and complained.... and she realized i think at that moment maybe i have some truth.... i told her how he called me disrespectful, and we drive property values down... at one point she said she just felt we were so different from everyone else here with the big family and all.. and i told her do you know how much support i need emotionally just to deal with dan on a daily basis... the traffic wont be reduced ... and asked have we ever played loud music, made noise, done anything disruptive , stayed up late, partying ..anything... ?? no she agreed we had not.... i told her this is all petty stuff, worrying about a six inch cross of property line on the drive way ( the toyota tech parked it there) that fact that on a rare occassion the dogs do make a break out, the guy complaining doesent have any dog poop in his yard or a paw print in his yard.. he is just mad cause he has way to much time to worry about the small things in the world... i worry about the hubby staying alive , seizures, falls, hydration, nutrition, transportation,PT, speech, my own health ( never told you all but i had a ultrasound done on my knee apparently i have a fluid build up just behind my knee causing blood clot LIKE pain) thankgoodness not a clot... and then i have beths health to deal with her hives and being allergic to her own life "stress" and erika who has either ghost gallbladder pain ( her gall bladder is removed) ( but you can still have pain) or severe esophageal spasms...... yes all stress related... so here i am .. defending against six inch property impedments and a lose dog ( not a attack type) just snoopers of pheasants... all of it while technically legal on the mirror neighbors part is just to petty... so i am contemplating putting all the animals down... not because i dont love them but because i do love them...... neither cat is special ( except to us) and the humane society is already overran with cats.. and tag could never survive unless in a house, he looks like a lab but is a southren breed and a careless owner would kill this dog by sheer ignorance... YIP YIP while cute might be placeable but i guess i theororize if one or two should be put down maybe the best thing is to just put them all down.. then i am not favoring... i am sure others would not agree with me it is a maternal way of thinking of the animals... there is a chance my brother might take tag, but he already has 2 dogs one very elderly that i have been kinda waiting to pass and then tag could go there.... but again pushing one into the grave to favor another ( and my brother wont put down cole) so i sit sorta imobalized by what to do?? more loss... i would love to give the mirror neighbor one big slice of my life, but it is probably the only thing he wouldnt eat..... will it ever end ?? i had hoped the myan calendar thing would pan out but darn it we are all still here LOL... nancyl

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Man, this is a shame, they should have warned you if they had so many rules before you signed the contract! So they want you to live there, but not really be there or have anyone over? I have weird neighbors but most are swell, if I had someone watching out the window with a mirror I'd call the funny farm on him! And did you tell her about the police report of him breaking in while you were away? The mirror actually seems like it should be against the law too, an invasion of privacy perhaps.

 

Two years; it all seems so opposite of the one year anniversary, where I was celebrating how far we'd come. Now I feel like I just wait for the next diaster to happen. Hopefully all will level off before Year Number Three!

 

It breaks my heart to hear you talking about your pets like that, I hope you find a better solution than what you're thinking......

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thats the thing, while i do have to many pets...agreed... their are no rules against parking in my drive way, just that the car not be a inoperable junker they are not... no rules against guests, and everyone is generally gone by 8pm or so... and only once was the "property line crossed " on the driveway , but it keeps coming up.. it is just like you can live here but not REALLY live here.. this place is like a shrine.. we have this huge common area as big as some mc donalds ... and no one uses it.. it is beautiful.. but just sits there empty , i am afraid to use it and used to take weston down there and sit and play with him, but quit that long ago because i could take the tempature of the place and see it is a look dont touch kinda place..... so i am not really a bad neighbor .. i just actually live here...as oppossed to showboating...oh well it is what it is...

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oh my fuller brush lady came today ( apparently they still have door to door salespeople) and she parked in the same spot that everyone gets mad about... the irony.... she was referred to me by my neighbors ( yes the condo neighbors) in the past... hmmmmm, she moved after i told her my reason....guess that lady is a disrespectful - inconsiderate person to... or is logic just lost on everyone, creepy with that mirror there and being home all the time...

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Nancy, congratulations on 2 year anniversary for Dan and 2 years of struggle as his care giver for you and I would almost bet it has felt like 20 years to your body and mind. Now the sanity you had and enjoyed on your other property seem to be so long ago now with the daily harassing you get there daily from all sides.

 

You are much stronger than me I sorta remember days and times like that back during segregation years when you moved into certain neighborhoods where you really wasn't wanted and harassment kept coming from all sides until you moved away.

 

Your 200 thousand was just as good as theirs and you have just as much rights if there is nothing in writing against what you asked for, what you brought with you there, and what you are willing to pay to have done for the convenience of your husband they can see is handicap.

 

After all you have asked, said and done, just for peace of mind, I feel I couldn't be the nice lady anymore you have been. I imagine a condo is about like an apartment just the residents are more permanent there and not in and out so regularly. Well, I wish you much success on your continued stay. It would be very hard for me to remain there in peace and have peace of mind with a surviving husband to care for daily.

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Nancy, hold on to what is going right. The condo lady seems to be grasping the situation, that means the mirror neighbor is not going to win. Hang on! Don't do anything rash because if you make decisions now, you are making them at a time you are half crazy from the stress of Dan acting out. Please hold your decisions, for now. Praying so hard for you both! I hope an pray Dan rises to the occasion of appreciating this important 2 year survival landmark.

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Nancy: congratulations on the two year mark. It is a time to celebrate, although that is probably furthest from your mind right now. But it is major and CONGRATs need to be said.

 

Nance - you know the dogs have to be leashed - no errors. Try to find a local dog park where they can run. You could use the break from the house and so could they.

 

As long as you are within the complex rules as to number of animals, number of working vehicles; you are OK. Yes, it will be difficult getting any changes made to the outside, but again I could challenge it, as you are planning to do. Has to be a Disability Advocate somewhere that could advise you.

 

You are way over your head right now. As Sandy advises, not the time to make any major decisions. And as annoyed you are at Dan right now, and have a right to be, do NOT take anything else away from him right now. He is just too vunerable. No changes. This is a hunker down time. Don't know how your weather is right now. We are warming up a bit - another major snow due mid-next week, but I want you to think about some fresh air and sunshine for yourself. Maybe take Weston to a library reading or the girls for some window shopping and a milk shake. Or just a sit outside out of Mirror Man's line of site. Debbie

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