Jhari's Blog

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Hectic Week



My husband's transmission just gave up in his jeep 2 weeks ago. He is a rural mailman, this is a problem. I had to take him on his route 3 times in the last 2 weeks. This means 120 miles and 350+ boxes to serve. Of course weather conditions have not been the greatest. So this Monday I didn't get to home until evening. Mom was fine, her normal self. The next day when I went in she was in bed with a hospital gown on. She had been sick all night, vomiting and diarrhea. I wasn't there much that day, she slept most of the time.


Yesterday morning I called early to see how she was and she hadn't had anything to eat or drink and had not voided. So I went over right away. She looked horrible! They did start iv fluids and an antibiotic. I was there all day until 7:30. She was so dehydrated, but she did drink quite a bit for me.


This morning when I went in she still was sick, but did look better. I stayed there again all day, she slept most of the day. I got more fluids into her. Tomorrow they are planning on getting her up and into a chair for lunch. She only had 2 days of therapy before this, but the therapist told me they would just put her on hold. This GI bug is spreading through the whole home.

I was really upset today, when I went to the kitchen and asked if they had milkshakes (only thing mom wanted). The one lady said, "Nope." So I asked if I could have just a little container of ice cream and a small milk. Well, it was like I had just asked for a roast beef dinner. She did hand me the ice cream, but not the milk. When I asked for the milk the other lady made a real disgusted sound and got the milk. I went out and someone in the dining room gave me a cup and a spoon so I could mix together. I went to mom's room and was giving her the shake and I thought, "No, I can't put up with this". Almost all of mom's money goes there, I never ask for anything special or any favors, in fact I do all I can to help. I was furious. I walked up the hall and talked to one lady about it. She said others have gotten the same treatment from these two. She said I should let the head of dietary know, so I talked with her and she said " I will take care of it right now!" So I went back to mom's room, still very upset. In about 10 minutes both ladies walked in and apologized for their behaviour and I accepted their apology. I told them mom won't eat anything, but asked for a milkshake and they made it seem like I had asked for a million dollars. They left and a little later one of them came back with a milkshake she had made up. Now, I am a person that almost NEVER speaks up about anything, but that really made me mad. I'm glad I did speak up, I felt better.


My brother, who I have talked about before, has stopped chemo, the tumors in his lungs have grown. He also has tumors in his liver. The docs want him to try a fairly new pill next. This will be the last thing to try. But now, his left side, arm and leg are not working. He thought he had had a stroke or had a brain tumor, but he had an MRI on Monday and no signs of either. The theory is some kind of inflammation from the chemo is causing this. He is scheduled for a spinal tap on Monday. He feels bad that he can't help out with mom, but it is what it is, right?


So I am feeling pretty exhausted physically and emotionally. Sorry that I have rambled on for so long.


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Rambling on is an accepted part of blogging, it clears your mind and hopefully helps you sleep. I have done 2am blogs and got so tired I have had trouble rereading them and deleted them. Maybe I should have kept them in draft form and rewritten them in the morning whaen I had had extra sleep.


Thank you for what you did for your Mum, there was no excuse for turning down your request and I am glad you got an apology for their churlishness. It may make a difference to how they treat the next person who asks for something extra special for their loved one. Thank you for looking after your Mum the way you do, maybe she doesn't think to thank you but you are doing a wonderful job of being that helpful presence all people in that situaion need.



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its kinda a psycho therapy for us... i know like sue i have written some doozies and deleted them, others i have re-read and been like well, it is what it is.... our strokenet motto..... you have been more than reasonable and like you said your moms money goes there and none of those places are cheap, so if mom wants a milkshake she should get one any time of the day or night........please do use this site, i was gonna taper back my bogging but just cant -- alll the stesses of our lives that nervous energy has got to go somewhere... so i blog pretty daily... unfortunately there is something to blog about daily... and in those little nuances of our lives perhaps it helps someone else.... certainly we feel less alnoe when other respond ... and the people who respond here know intimately what you are experiencing....so blog away babe it is our diary..our journey..our lives..

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Keep speaking up for mom they eventually will listen to you and just think about the other parents there who have no family to come check on them or how they are being treated by the employees at these facilities across the United States.

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Good for you! Absolutely no excuse for the attitude and kudos to the head of dietary for making quick amends. You pick your battles and wonderful job.


I am sorry about hubby's vehicle. Just one more thing for the family to deal with. Glad Mom is on the mend. Infection just has to run its course and I am glad she is healing. Yes, therapy can be put off for a bit.


I had trouble, as a nurse, with dietary one night. I am lucky in that our SNF is privately owned - one family and someone is always on board. The response I kept getting was that the "grill was off." What in the world does that have to do with a cold cut sandwich? I went up and got the owner. He and I made sandwiches, salad and got a dessert out from the fridge - right in front of the staff. Took care of that little problem. Fortunately the head of the department was notified and she is still there, so no further problems.


Only takes one advocate. Thank you for stepping up. You have probably helped many! Debbie

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Guest hostwill


"Dare to confront" in these kinds of situations is very prevalent now-a-days, and I can't understand why?


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