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So many questions



Exciting weekend here in Connecticut if you follow College hockey: two local teams battling it out for the National championship. My very first date with Bruce was the night of the Stanley cup final - Islanders vs Rangers. I had a transistor radio with an earphone. Bruce had a 1975 pick up truck that we valet parked. He panicked when the twenty year old valet drove off and left rubble in his dust - LOL. Kid said later he never got to drive anything that old with some power - LOL. And yes I did get busted with the radio.


College hockey was the first sport I introduced Bruce to. We started dating in the winter. Yale's rink is 15 minutes away. Later professional hockey. My boss was a retired hockey player and we often were gifted his box tickets when he could not attend a game. It happened to be a great year for the Hartford Whalers. After that, baseball, football and basketball were easy - LOL. Funny to see Bruce now watch women's college basketball on TV. And Bruce has hat and T-shirts from the LA Sparks - ya think? Even has had people ask him if it is his team - LOL. Actually Bruce just loves their team colors.


I have not been feeling well these past few days. And the weather is not helping, although today with the cold and rain it was easy to say I just needed rest. Trying so hard to get him out on nice days, but then the diet suffers because after work, getting out and getting errands done, I fall to easy lunches just to be able to rest a bit. So many trade offs and it always seems like I am compromising to save me time and effort. Then the guilt kicks in. But we are just one week into my shorter hours at work and still I look to the weather to plan our week.


As much as I hate doing it, have Erma coming in tomorrow morning to help Bruce with breakfast and shower if he will agree. I so need sleep and a good bath. I am so afraid of being upstairs and having something happen that I am willing to have her come in, just to be in the house.


I did enjoy a terrific dinner with the Executors of my trust on Wednesday. Now keep in mind, these are friends. We try to meet twice a year to discuss any changes and what I want as far as Bruce's care if something should happen to me. And I have been in a bit of a panic last few days due to my health, so am so glad we did it.


Thursday was beautiful; warm, breezy and with the front coming in overnight, I knew Bruce had to get out. I left him with the grocery list - the coupons and store specials; his coupons for lunch choices and told him I did not want to hear "I don't know" when I got home. Personally, if it took him an hour away from the precious TV, I would be happy. But this is where I feel guilty. When I got home, he had had Cathy cut out the food coupons, he had chosen two lunch specials, did his teeth, toiletted and had Cathy load him into the truck when I drove in. Given a plan, especially for the house stuff, he steps up and this is where I feel remiss. This is what he embraces - his every day life in his home. He had even fed Kira her extra meal - Cathy said she did not help. Cathy has been with us long enough to be comfortable letting him do his thing. Things to think about. Good weekend to all and sun and warmth are coming!


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Debbie, sounds like Brucee took you seriously and got his act together so he would be ready for what your plans dictated. I used to love those rare occassions on which Ray co-operated and life went smoothly. Got to get out when you can so enjoy every day that happens.


Changes, seem to happen for the worse sometimes but in the next round comes changes for the better. Be as philosphical as you can about it all. Health problems come and go...look at my dear Mum, four kinds of cancer and she lived to 94, who would have thought?



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oh honey i hope you feel better soon!!!!! Trying to do all we do and then not feeling good makes it extra tough.......i wish i could say something helpful, but that is usually what you do -- all i can say is feel much better soon !!

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I am always amazed by your organization skills. no wonder with caregivers like you we survivors thrive in our recovery.



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I really hope you got your sleep and a good bath. Getting someone to come in so you can do that is just what is needed with all you've been doing. I can certainly understand why you are cutting some corners on the meal front. Not to worry. Be guilt free. You've not been feeling well and something usually has to give when we are not in top form. Give yourself that extra time until you begin to feel better. I've only had two times when I was really sick since Lauren's stroke. Couldn't take care of Lauren in any way. I had to call in emergency private duty. Thankfully both times were rather quickly resolved. It would be nice if we could guarantee we wouldn't ever have times of illness but it isn't going to happen!


I hope the rest of the weekend goes well! ~~Donna

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Debbie I think you may have what I just got over. I kept thinking it was a cold, but I had a fever too and was sooo tired, just like the flu I had at New Years. This time I didn't bother going to the doctor to confirm. Two in one season, after not having the flu since I was in my 20s. Luckily Ray didn't catch either one so for that I should be thankful.


I fell so far behind being sick, and then we had a week of doctor appts for Ray every single day Monday to Friday. Somehow I made it through, no Pat to help me out this time, I just dragged myself along and now it's finally gone. Just in time for our trip to Georgia! But I'm crossing my fingers as I say that, because I won't be surprised to get some other stress related disease in the near future. Hopefully after we get back!


Ray is always scared when I am under the weather, and is on his best behavior. He knows what the alternative would be if something serious happened to me.

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You are doing so much. When you are feeling under the weather. Take a break. You will feel better sooner. I am amazed at how much I get done. I am amazed at all caretakers. We do alot.


Bruce is doing well.



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