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Sometimes just without all the Hooplah



Back in the Fall when Bruce and I had to reschedule and consider new caregivers, we knew it would be an adjustment. I am contracted for 24 hours a week at work. Yes, I have a lot of wiggle room, but if one takes advantage of a situation, given out of concern and love, one can probably expect that management might get annoyed.


Mind you, I have my choice of caregivers and no one has better help than Bruce and I. And I have spoken about that often. During the Fall, Bruce decided he was no longer going to do any personal grooming, other than toileting, with strangers. So we regrouped and the caregivers took over the housework.


We had many changes over the Winter and a very difficult Winter, so it was easy to just hunker down: concentrate on meals, diabetes, problems with Kira, reading, household chores. Now to Spring. And regardless of how Mother Nature seems to be dragging her heels, things still have to be done.


I had scheduled our Erma 4 extra hours a week, just so I could have some time to get things done. That didn't happen over the Winter. Too many snow days and I needed the extra hours to make up work time.


Two weeks ago, I did take advantage of that by going to dinner with the Executors of my Trust. We like to get together a couple of times a year, just to catch up and make sure we are all on the same page.


Today I took the morning to get errands done. The lawn had to be fed and de-grubbed. I considered calling the lawn guy, but with finances recently, decided that if I could just have some time to get it done, I could save some money. Then there was vehicle washes. I have gift coupons for both, but it involves taking Bruce and the WC in and out of both vehicles. So today was the day.


I told Erma I would be in and out. Both vehicles washed in and out. Lawn done. I picked up Transfer Station tickets for the recycling that will have to be done as we weed out some household things. And I was able to pick up the herbs I want Bruce to do on the deck for us this summer. He wants to get out tomorrow and see just what I picked out - LOL. I had to hook up the outside water.. This is always a challenge and I don't know how Bruce did it year after year.


The house was totally redone just before the stroke and I had water heater replaced just when Bruce got home from Rehab. Plumber redid all the connections, so on-off is a piece of cake, but something is going to leak. I must have 10 rolls of Teflon tape in this house somewhere. Do you think I could find any? Anyway, the spigot itself is leaking. I ran it by Bruce and he said "replace it. And ask Glenn." Glenn is a nurse I work with. Glenn got me as a brand new nurse, way back when he was a CNA. He and Bruce have always had a great relationship. Bruce cuts coupons for him. So Glenn was just so pleased when I asked him. Obviously Glenn walked me through it and showed me how to Google for instructions. But then made up a sketch to show Bruce. He also said take Bruce out on the deck and have him walk you through this. Bless him. Bruce would love that and Glenn knows that. Says to me take it off, ask questions about the washer. If you don't have the washer, take Bruce to the local hardware, they will replace it for you. Just so excited and concerned for both of us. Knows Bruce would just love to be involved in it. But then says to me, if it is too much Debbie, I'll do it one night on my way home. People are just so wonderful.


Bruce was a bit out of sorts that I did not include him today. He totally understands the in and out with the WC assembly and disassembly. And also the fact that checking on him every half hour or so for toileting is time consuming. Part of me is hoping he realizes that he loves going on these jaunts, but has to help out as far as the workload. And part of me knows that I have to consider being able to load scooters and WC's intact, without having to disassemble. I want him getting in and out - any movement is better than none - that is why I do what I do. But there are going to be times when I have a list that has to be done quickest or energetically economical. I could have spread this out over a week, but I also have to go to work after doing it. And he could have asked Erma to take him out on the deck while all this was going on. Chose to stay inside with the precious TV, even tho he knows we are working on a Vitamin D deficiency.


But no rant. Just disappointed but got the work done, had a wonderful shower, did lunch, half hour down time and then off to work. I want to get the grill set up tomorrow and we are having dinner at Carl's new apartment on Sunday, so big doings. Good week all. Debbie


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blogging keeps us centered and sane... at least we know where we have been ... so perhaps some day i can look back and say to myself we have come a long way baby... now sure isent that time.... but my dan is doing ok so i will settle for "treading" water..nancyl

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Debbie :


you are doing great in planning,organizing & running the household. every brain injury is so different, since as a survivor post stroke I am so different, maybe having young son at home was instrument in doing more for myself & my family.



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Debbie, you are good to include Bruce on most things. With me, I just fly out of here when I can have someone for Larry. He would rather stay home but I told him I am taking him to the stores when the weather warms. I took Lucy for her vet appt. today. The vet used a fine flee comb and got enough hair out of her to make another cat. lol He kept poking around examining her and she finally had enough, tried to bite him! Usually she is docile but not today. Her weight was down a pound and he was wanting to order blood work. Ha! I have Larry down in weight a lot more than that plus other issues. I said I would have to wait on the blood work. She got her shot and we were out of there. Oh, she also has gum disease.


Larry was never a "handyman". He could fix some things but usually said "get somebody to fix it" So, nothing new now. I take Larry to his internist tomorrow and that is it for doctors for a while. Of course, we still have the therapies. The speech therapy is intense and not much fun but I know he needs to do it. Maybe we won't have to do too many visits. I would like to just have a week with no doctors or therapy. My daughter comes in next week so that will be a nice break for both of us.


Have a good weekend.



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I know how it is. I want to take Wm most times. But sometimes you have to run. That is not possible with the wheel chair. Wm does not get the Vit D thing either. He loves to sit in his recliner. But, the pool is the one thing that is stable for us.

I agree. 24 hrs keeps me busy. 40 hrs was killing me. Now I have more time at home. And I get to walk the dog alot.

Wm does not do fix up things. That is my realm.



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wow you are such a great caregiver! I wish I had someone around to do all those household things. I was so grateful just to have my parents come visit me a few weeks ago. My dad carried my groceries in the house, mom washed dishes, hung up clothes and helped me strap on the splint before bed. Kudos to you for being superwoman!

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