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Good weekend



We had such a busy, productive weekend. Today we had a luncheon with our dear Carl, so yesterday we had to get our weekend errands done.


We did our normal morning routine, then out the door at 9am. Banking first and then a long ride. We did stop for a late breakfast out. I had to eat and it was one less meal I had to deal with in a very busy day. Groceries - just quick stop for fresh fruits, veggies and milk. Weather was perfect, so it was out on the deck (yes, fans, Bruce went out on the deck with no argument - a miracle!) Bruce planted the herbs I purchased and then supervised me fixing the outdoor water connection. It really was much easier than I expected. Back inside to Estim and snack, then shower for Bruce. He helped make dinner (posted under Kitchen Tips). Bruce did not nap, stayed up until his regular time - but boy, conked right out and slept the entire night. Amazing what a little exercise and fresh air can do - LOL.


We headed off to Carl's around noon. He recently moved into a Condo after coming off a failed relationship and all of you know how important he has been to both Bruce and I over the years. He mentioned today that he has known both of us since 1986. Carl's best friend was also there. Pete has been here several times when Carl was tackling a large job for us and it is always fun to spend time with him. And also a new lady friend that Carl has been seeing for several weeks. Just a terrific goup and Carl did the whole lunch - delicious. We all brought desserts.


But it never ceases to amaze me how things seem to come full circle without any warning. Bruce and I speak occasionally about relocating. I have several brochures in warmer areas that look promising but it always breaks my heart to think about taking Bruce out of his home. One has to have a plan B. Stroke taught all of us that.


Carl had assured us that the complex and his Condo were fully accessible for the WC. What he failed to mention was that he is in the one bedroom handicap unit! This complex is relatively new and the owner-contractor lives on the premises. Other than the deluxe rug in the living area, this place was amazing. Kitchen is tiled with an island adjoining the dining area - also tiled. The amount of room is amazing and the set up. Bruce would do great in there, WC and all. All the halls are extra wide - no problem wheeling Bruce to the BR or bedroom. The bathroom is amazing. The shower has a pan with no lip. There is a bench in the shower, but I could lift it up and drive the WC right into the shower. No stepping over anything. And the BR floor also has a drain if something happened and the shower overflowed. Tons of closets and cabinets. BRs are tough for all of us. Somehow we can find a comfortable spot for our partners, but then there is the BR and what to do. I always bring the infamous schlepp, but then one has to find a room to work in, hopefully with a door - LOL. Huge windows everywhere and Carl advises that some units even have balconies. I could swing Bruce into the BR from the hallway and back out, in the WC, without hitting walls or doors (even with the carpeting). I can't do that in my own house - LOL.


Now there were no grip bars in the shower or bathroom. Fortunately for us the vanity was on Bruce's left. He balanced fine with that. Toilet seat would have to be raised for us. Carpet taken out and I would want two bedrooms and the balcony but it was amazing to see what is available when handicap accessible is not just a make over, but truly planned out. They do not have a permanent ramp from the parking lot, but there is a portable one the owners-renters have access to - it worked great and our portable ramp would also be fine.


I always stress with outings. Worry I will forget something. BR issues, as all of you know, are often the cause of "accidents" or leaving early. One house Bruce has to pee in a hallway - what is more stressful than that for both of us. Or we can get the accident that involves plastic bags on seats, towels, complete shower when we do finally get home. I personally make the effort because it is important to Bruce. We are lucky at my brother's. He has the access to the garage from his patio and Brittany's bedroom is tiled for when we are in the house. Today we added Carl's. And even though he doesn't not say anything, I know this is on Bruce's mind. I noticed it the last time at the Casino - going into the ladies room. I know he was uncomfortable. Today, just gave me the signal, off we went - no trouble. And I find once this is resolved, I can relax. Just a terrific day. Debbie


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Debbie I panic going somewhere I don't know & not sure Wayne can help.other peoples houses I walk with a hemi - so Wayne or a buddy helps me sit & pulls up my pants.soo many places including "accessible" - I couldn't use if I couldn't walk a bit.


I worry about peeing & stinking on our way to appts but relax on the way home I always wear depends by that time I'm done the doc or whatever . so if I have trouble it is just us dealing with it.



it IS a very troubling feeling to deal with this when in public. After many accidents - I have learned to trust my depends.



Susan from Alberta Canada.

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OK condo thinker------ ( yes ours is set up pretty much the same but with 3 bedrooms and a laundry room) --- in reality they really are a great set up -- providing of course you have no mirror neighbor... LOL sounds like you had a graet time and lot of things to add to plan B should the need or desire for plan B come around... I am also working on a plan B but need to do a lot of loose end tying up.... and then maybe plan B can become plan A..... ..... your organization continues to amaze me although most people think i am organized -- i bow to you LOL.... nancyl

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Debbie Bruce is so lucky to have you. I could not do all that you do plus work outside your home.


Yes, it seems the grab bars are on the wrong side when out in public for Larry. He needs them on the right as he sits. And the low toilets and low benches are hard for him to get up from. I'm going out today to get another office chair as the ones we have swivel. My decor has changed to "new modern handicap accessible".



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Debbie, nothing is perfect but sometimes you can find something close to perfect. Two bedrooms is my aim even now, with growing grandchildren I wouls need the assurance that I could still have visitors sleep over. Carl's set-up sounds well thought out.


Keep on getting Bruce out as much as you can. Maybe you can try a sleepover in somewhere similar? See how it fits you both?



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