Jhari's Blog

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Long, sad,days



The week hasn't too bad I guess. Right now I am so exhausted I can barely think straight. I had talked with my sis ter-in-law on Thursday morning. She said my brother's speech is getting slurred and if I wanted to talk with him I should probably come soon. My nephew had also called Tuesday night and said my brother wanted him to call me and tell me that he wanted to see me. So we had planned on going up Sunday after church. However, after I talked with my SIL that day I decided to go up Friday. I went to see mom earlier than normal that morning and she was upset that I was leaving so early. I left her about 10 and arrived at the hospice house (Benincasa) at 12:30. My brother had had a bad night, anxiety attack, pain, etc. He was pretty well medicated when I got there. I had planned on leaving at 4 to come home. But when my brother was awake, looked at me, and said, Please stay, my plans changed. His 4 boys came, with their wives and several of my SIL's sisters. We basically just sat all day, talking, crying, (alot of crying) and laughing. My brother has always been funny and even now he is trying to make everyone laugh. Plus alot of the time, with the effect of morphine, some of the conversations were just plain weird. We did not think he would make it through the night. My husband came and we stayed the night. There is so much food in that house.


This morning my brother was about the same. Increasing periods of apnea.We stayed until 11 and left.I went to the home to get mom's laundry and visit for awhile. In the 70's today, so we sat on the porch. She knew we had gone to see Dale and I told her he is very sick. She cried a little and then went on to something else. My husband thinks that we should take her to see him, but I disagree and am not going to give in. It is a 2 1/2 hr. drive and she is exhausted when I take her for 1 hr. Plus she gets very anxious around alot of people and noise and I really don't think it would benefit her to see my brother in this condition.I am feeling so emotionally drained right now. I hadn't taken anything with me yesterday to stay the night, so I had to sleep in my clothes. I did take a shower, but had to put the same clothes on. I am doing mom's laundry now, then have to take it back to her. We are going back to see my brother either tonight or tomorrow morning.


I would so appreciate prayers. I just hope he will go peacefully and be carried to heaven in the arms of Jesus.


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No words can help right now----- but know you are in my thoughts and prayers as is your entire family.. strength and peace.........Nancyl

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Joni: you know you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers every day. I too pray that your brother finds peace and rest.


Think I agree about Mom. All that you mentioned and also the stroke. You have no guideline as to how she will absorb any of it. Rest when you can. Debbie

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My prayers are with you. I know you are tired. Praying for strength and peace for you and a gentle passing for your brother. It is all so hard. ~~Donna

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Joni, my prayers are with you, your Mom and your brother and his family. This must be so harrowing for all of you. I too wish your brother a peaceful passing and comfort for you all as you await the end. (((hugs)))

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