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guess i spoke too soon



It just happened again. The same thing that happened 2 weeks ago before I went to work. Im laying on my back on my bed with my laptop in front of me surfing the web and I start to feel weird. "Here we go again" I think. "Oh no, God please help me." I say to myself as it feels like someone is squeezing my head. I let my laptop slide onto the bed as the "seizure" takes over. I close my eyes and cover my face as I try to keep from crying waiting for it to end. I think about calling out to my friend who is in the living room but I can't think of his name plus Im scared that if I open my mouth the only thing that will come out is a barely audible murmur and spit since my throat is burning with nausea. Just then it ends, I sit up. My friend came to my room to let me know he's leaving. All of this just happened to me. It happened 2 weeks ago too (minus the friend) but I went to work anyway and besides feeling lightheaded and anxiety, I was fine for the rest of the day. 3 days later was the night I fell off my bed probably from a "seizure."


I don't know how many of you read my last blog but I wrote about being afraid to go back to e-stim because I thought it might be triggering seizures. I haven't done it in weeks. But now the good part is I can go back to it. I thought I was doing okay since I didnt have any "seizures" since last week but today showed me that maybe my OT was right maybe the e-stim and seizures was just coincidence. As I wrote the other day, I have been eating 3 meals a day and taking my medicine regularly. I have not had breakfast this morning but I also rarely eat this early anyway. I had a big dinner lastnight and got 6-8 hours of sleep so I dont have a clue why this just happened to me. I remember everything that happened and I feel fine now. No headache, no lightheadedness. It is a horrible feeling but after it ends besides sadness I feel fine. From my ER and doctor visit, I learned that as long as I didn't pass out it wasnt really a seizure. So now I don't know what it is.


I REALLY dont want to tell my neurologist. If he puts in my paperwork that Im passing out and having seizures DMV will take my license and I will be stuck with a car I cant drive but still have to make payments on plus no more convenient transportation. I guess the good news is I know my e-stim wasnt triggering it so I can go back to exercising. The bad news is I just got a bill from the company asking for $750 so if my dad's insurance does not cover it, I will have to send the e-stim unit back and I've yet to find an OT in my dad's insurance network that can help me exercise so there goes my progress. sorry I am rambling. I guess I will call my doctor again and see if any irregular results came back from my blood work since they never called me.


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frusterations -aplenty for sure... but something you do need to consider.... you do need to report this to the neurologist ... i know , i know the car issue. but in fairness, should you be driving? someone could really get hurt. and you seem like the type of person who would be devastated by that.. I am sorry, i know the loss of freedom is hard. the car i know you are paying for it, but selling it would bring in some of what you owe on it...honey i know this is devastating , and i am sorry - but you need to take care of yourself, by talking and being honest with the neurologist. a med adjustment, new med?? i don't know . but i know you need to talk to the neurologist ..

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I couldn't agree with nancy more. I'm so sorry to hear this but I think you can drop the quotes. What you're having is more than likely a seizure. A person can have a partial seizure and not lose consciousness but believe me their brain is not processing information normally. A partial seizure can then secondarily generalize, meaning the whole brain gets involved and then you'd be unconscious. Just because you recall it and didn't pass out doesn't mean you didn't have a seizure. A partial seizure can stay partial ( in one part of the brain only) of it can generalize( whole brain involved) and unconsciousness ad a result if ehole brain involvement just because some stay partial doesn't mean others won't generalize and there's no way up predict when it'll happen . I'm sorry but its not safe for you to drive. I remember the joy when you got the ability yo drive and I totally get it but seriously imagine you hit somebody... It would really destroy you,not to mention you could hurt yourself. Lease tell your neurologist and give up the keys,at leafy for now. How would you handle it if you had an episode behind the wheel and killed a kid? From what I remember of you ; you'd really be crushed. I haven't been around for a while so to refresh your memory I am a 40 year old stroke neurologist, yeah I get theinsane irony, who had a big stroke at age 37.. I've been back to work so I haven't posted here in a long long time but I got the email notification about your new blog entry so here I am. Stay safe :-)

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I have seen my dan have a couple different types of seizures and after speaking to his nuero- she verified that indeed was what i had seen.... dans have always been grand mal.. the whole bit.... but i have seen some that he just isent right, and i know at night sometimes he has some partial seizures.. the meds he is on seems to be getting to a theraputic range.. ( lamictal) but it took 1.5 yrs to get to the point we are at .... but i never even allow dan to stand alone.. i am literally with him all the time ( or one of the kids are)... since he is on pradaxa ( blood thinner) with no antedote like coumadin with vitamin K... if dan falls and a bleed starts it will not stop and the half life is at least 12 hours... the pradaxa is a dangerous drug, but when dan plays the no eating no drinking card-- a coumadin level of 7 is more dangerous... so it the ying and yang.... your loss of freedom is the car and driving .. and it is huge , ours ( dan and mine) is the constant supervision when he walks , brushes his teeth, virtually all the time we are with him... the only exception is bed.... even sitting up i have seen him pass out to the point of have no neurological alertness what so ever --- the sternum rub, the foot stimulis , the hand drop all he fails.... and his oxygen has went down to 48 --- during a grandmal he does not breath at all... so dan and i have lost our freedom from each other... for the most part... but i cant take the chance of a fall, and honey you cant take the chance of a accident... please talk to your nuerologist - they cant help you if they dont know everything... with much respect.... nancyl

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Katrina, I wish you the best and hopefully things will settle down pretty quick where you can stop worrying. Anybody would be I understand that but you are at that point now of saying "Why me?" and you are trying all you can to live normal with few problems as possible but they just keep coming on you!


Make sure you take your meds on time and check with one of your doctors to get their opinion about what's happening to you almost daily. I never had seizures but a friend did and one day he wrecked his car so I know they are a big problem for you every time you turn around.

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