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doing better but worse



I realized that I had just went to the doctor that same day all that stuff happened in my sleep. The doctor has not called me to come back so I guess everything was normal like it was before. I quit doing e-stim. I have not done it in about 2 weeks. So far so good. I have also been trying my best to cook and eat 3 meals a day.


Last Tuesday I was riding in the car with my friend and I got really confused. It clicked in my brain that we were coming from a different direction and its like my brain could not process it or something. I started to feel dizzy so I tried to keep talking just to act normal but I could not explain anything. I dont know what I was saying. It was like I had a brain fart or like when you're about to say something then it slips your mind except I also felt light headed. We got out the car and I felt normal again. When I sat down my heart was beating fast but I didnt feel dizzy anymore.


I have also been sleeping okay. Even nights I've stayed up late and woke up early I still sleep okay. I have not had nightmares or sleep paralysis since..well I cant remember the last time it happened. There are some nights my body will jerk me back awake as Im trying to fall asleep but I think that is only when I realize Im in that half sleep/half awake stage and my mind's awareness of it scares me into thinking somethings wrong.


I do miss exercising. I still cant lift my arm up anymore, cant open my fingers even to wash them, and cant straighten my wrist to put on the splint without my body parts hurting like crazy. My OT said e-stim has not been associated with seizures so its probably just a coincidence. But Im scared. I mean this seizure stuff has been happening seems like ever since I did my trial with the bioness. I remember the day I went home for Thanksgiving I used the bioness for about 4 hours that day and that night I felt like someone was pushing my head into the pillow, my dad said I was banging on the wall, and I woke up at 4am confused. But since my neurologist told me it was parasomnia I didnt think it was anything serious.


What do you guys think? My wrist hurts and my fingers are starting to stink so I really want to go back to exercising but the only way I can losen them up is through e-stim since even slow stretches are excruciatingly painful. Im probably overtoned from not exercising but at the same time Ive finally gone a whole week and slept good and didnt get dizzy. Perhaps its just cause Im eating better? I had the most seizures when I was a kid and my mom didnt feed me so maybe it is just a nutrition thing? All I know is I dont want to live or sleep in fear but I also still want to get better and not worse when it comes to my left side.

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Well Katrina, to me it sounds like you got lots of fears inside that you won't turn loose. That's what I think! If you really want to get better it will not happen by itself! You have to exercise your left side to make the hand and fingers start to get better and the fingers separate. If you hold your hand one way day and night it will stay that way forever. It knows nothing else to do or any other way to be.


Maybe I'm the lucky one but my hand I used from day one and 9 years later I'm still using it for everything I do. See your mind (brain) don't control that hand any more so you have to do it by using it all the time. You gotta try and keep trying to use that hand when you are sitting, standing, walking or whatever use that hand, arm and your left side and don't neglect it.


Then you will be doing better and better and not worse. I'm just trying to help!!!

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