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Mini Vacation


Ethyl17

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Erma called Thursday night and she had an infection. So I had Friday off (both Pema and Cathy had to work).

I have been on the treadmill. Bruce is back in therapy and seems like he or Kira had appointments every other day. And you all know me, I never schedule this way. Plus I have family coming in for the weekend - brother's 60th birthday. Mary Beth is a new job starting July 15th, so will not be able to come as often, but still with the teens arriving - we have to have snacks and AC put in the upstairs bedrooms. It is impossible here weather-wise and they will be here four days, so has to be done.

 

They are lightweight units, and last summer Mary Beth and I did them, but she is recovering from a broken arm and I can't ask her. So Bob will drop them in during the week for us and whoever arrives after will take then out - LOL.

 

We had a great four days. No, not totally stress free. He has his good days and his bad. And on the bad it is almost impossible to get him to focus. And that usually ends up in a problem.

 

But we got out every day. Even did some shopping. Normally Bruce does not like to shop, but again, a direction-dictated by someone else. We did some cooking and I had him go through Colleen's recipes for suggestions and then getting the grocery list made out. And he will help Thursday prepping the snacks.

 

Bruce is back in therapy for a bit, so it will make a VERY long Wednesday for me, but Pema said tonight, if you can't do a double on Wednesday, cancel me and just take the night off. She works full time, has Bruce two nights a week plus a 12 hour with a total care. So a night off is OK for her.

 

I did write Bruce a letter last night. He does best with written word. I dealt with one issue - dinner with me and I explained that it would take concentration and work on his part. But that anything one wants is worth working for. I know it is one issue at a time. But he was incontinent often over the long weekend and refused to walk tonight with Pema. So again one step forward-maybe and two back.

 

Bruce loves me being home. Schedule is dictated by me. He gets out, gets treats, has his chores laid out and does them without complaint. But my questions always is - is this what is best for Bruce? Debbie

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Enjoy your company. It sounds like it will be a lot of fun and laughter. I love good food and good company.

 

Ray, like Bruce, got tired really quickly when there was a lot of things happening. And he would act out by getting cross with me and saying mean things. I loved that guy of mine heaps but there were times when I cursed him as well as the stroke.

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Company always calls for so much cleaning and cooking, but once they arrive it's always worth it. Plus afterwards the house is clean and there are usually leftovers to eat for the next few days, so hopefully you will get a chance to sit with your feet up outside on the deck when it's all over.

 

You are reminding me that having therapy scheduled is good, but such a time drainer on my end. Unfortunately, after months of prodding, we have the in home nurse coming by weekly again, just so we can stay in the program for the foreseeable future. Supposedly they are looking for another home aide but I'm not holding my breath. Even if I placed Ray in outside day care, you have to be in the program here. The nurse's barely announced visits can be very annoying at times, I have to reschedule our whole day and straighten the house on a minute's notice. And then Ray more often than not refuses to even let her take his blood pressure, and gives her an attitude. What a life!

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Debbie, I am home, and it is good for Larry usually as I am there for his every need. lol Not good for me as I get caregiver burnout doing what I have to do around here, plus encouraging Larry to do anything. Now with the heat and humidity he will have another excuse not to go out. It is hard, even if I take him somewhere, getting back in a hot car is no fun.

 

Enjoy your company.

 

Julie

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And Julie, that is really the dilemma. I was home the first two years post and I needed to be. Recovery was so dynamic then - the brain healing, therapies, getting the home in order.

 

And I had great caregivers when I finally went back to work. Kept to the schedule. But I needed something for me. With the four days off, by Monday I was happy to get back to work. Just some time away from stroke.

 

I look to Barry's wife who had to return to work immediately.But they have a different support system than Bruce and I. Two sons and Barry co-owns a neighborhood bar, so employees supportive. Bruce and I do not have that.

 

While Bruce is happy to go anywhere, really he is just like Larry. Anything to avoid doing the work, putting in the time. I know they are depressed, mourning the life taken away. But you and I have accepted that, best we can. We mourn privately. But we get up every morning and put one foot in front of the other.

 

We had dentist yesterday. I told Receptionist I would be right back - wanted to start the truck and turn on the AC. Bruce does not need to be "watched" -he knows I will be right back. But you would have thought I asked for the office to be shut down - LOL. And while I know she is just anxious, they see Bruce every three months. Bruce fills out his own paperwork and she knows he won't transfer without me. Just annoying and people wonder why we burnout. The mental strain is worse than the physical.

 

As I mentioned in Chat - need a visit with the Neuro. For me, not for Bruce. Will let you know.

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