Well the day after my last blog I had another "episode". I woke up that morning and started having a seizure. My whole body was shaking and I was out of it. Then when I looked at the clock again a whole hour had passed. I dont know if I fell back asleep, lost consciousness or what. The good news is it has not happened anymore. It seems like when I dont expect it to happen and dont think about it, it happens. but when im worried and scared to death of falling asleep nothing happens. I went home over the weekend and I was so worried it was going to happen since it has happened every single time I have gone home to visit since last November, but it didnt. I never really feel relieved though. Even when I am having a wonderful day I am still worried that my night could turn into a nightmare But the other good news is I finally got a referral from my doctor to see a neurologist here in Charlotte. My appointment is in 2 weeks. I have still been feeling dizzy in the daytime but I just try to block it out of my mind and it goes away. Sometimes I just start talking to someone at work, start looking around, whatever I can do to keep from focusing on the dizziness.
I got my new brace on Friday. I love it. It is called the Noodle AFO. I also got some inserts in my shoes to lift my feet up so they wont roll in. I can see the difference. I like that it is made from carbon fiber and not the big white plastic with all the hinges and pieces that tear up my shoes, make so much noise, and draw so much attention. Now I only have the black strap right below my knee and the black bar that goes behind my leg. I am looking forward to wearing dresses and skirts without feeling self conscious. I go see the foot doctor on Friday. I want to know why my big toenail on my affected foot is still black!
Now I have some good news. I spoke at a Youth event on Sunday. I had not spoke since after graduation when I got invited to a lot of churches and events to share my testimony. I was kind of nervous but everyone really enjoyed hearing me speak. The pastor even asked everyone to collect a special offering for me because he believes I should have my own ministry. It really made me feel good to make others feel good. I love to make people feel inspired. I hate to make them feel sorry for me. I have been trying to work on thinking about how far I've come and being thankful. Everytime I get in my car or open the front door to my apartment I try to feel happy because I remember when I was permanently denied of a license and trapped in my depressing bedroom at my dads house.
I also decided to go ahead and buy my e-stim unit. The company was going to charge me $500 anyway since I've technically been renting it for 5 months so I decided to just but it for the $750. Its better than the $5000 bioness was going to charge me. I still hate they suckered me out of $540 to try it for 4 weeks but Im not going to start on that.
Well I am sorry this is so long. I still have no cable and dont really have any friends to talk to so I started rambling.