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I feel I am getting wiser every day than day before


HostAsha

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another AHA moment as I am getting older & getting comfortable in my all role playings of life. I know this for sure I am getting more mature in my motherhood & wifehood roles. I know just after stroke it used to make me very angry when doing my duties instead of saying thank yous I would get criticize for things which either went good or bad. Problem was if things went good then criticism won't bother me since I could just blow away it as kids oh what do they know, but would take it very personally & feel bad about my stupidity if it did not work out like I wanted then my thinking oh I m adult here should have known this or done this better. Anyway slowly I am realizing that I am doing my duties with right intentions behind it so criticism does not affect me as much. if it goes right then I m happy, & if it goes wrong then I learnt my lesson. I am so happy with this new mindset, it creates less unhappy moments & stress in my simple life now. I guess when you know better you do better. Just thought to write down this AHA moment of mine.

 

Asha

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See, you still got young kids at home and you were very young when the stroke hit plus your hubby has been there for you every step of the way. You will get much wiser, that's called trial and error, which teaches us every day to make changes if and when needed so next time around we feel so much better about situations we face.

 

Normally things will and does go pretty good after you have thought about what you want to do because you also thing about how it should be done. Of course we are never wrong after thinking about the situation first. I agree with you!

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I know I'm likely to become furious with myself if something turns out badly, because I wanted it done and over. I've had a lot of problems with needing to have things done NOW, done FASTER, done BETTER. Eventhough there may be time periods when it is a have to (like getting out of the other house in time), on a day to day basis it is a really stinky way to live. Since we are not perfect, it just leads to everything being the last straw, all day, every day. That is just a waste of our days. I do want to live in a way that is not so demanding of perfection, so joy is the key to the day, not being perfect!

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VERY -- Harold Kushner of you ----- Harold Kushner wrote the book- when bad things happen to good people... he is a jewish rabbi... very good reading and that - TO ME- is his basic teaching... if you know better than , you do ( or should) do better... kinda like if no one ever told you swearing is wrong - and you are doing it how accountable can you be to a unwritten rule .. but once the rule is made obvious to you than you no longer do it.... sorta a bad analogy on my part but i am a little "foggy these days " lol... love your post asha, thank you for those little life reminders.. nancyl

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