It's an exciting time Asha, good luck with it all!

Ash, When you are feeing up to it, our deck needs some attention. The nice thing is you are up and doing and getting something constructive done John

Good luck with this school year Asha. It is exciting when they grow up but sad too as you see the independence growing and realise your task is nearly done. But for you and kido that is two years away yet and I know you will enjoy each day as it comes. Just go with the flow ( as a wise woman used to tell me...lol.)

Hi Asha, listen , enjoy the time with your young man, the years go so fast.

Reading your post, I remember my son Thomas, who is now a Junior in college. I remember dropping him off to college, my heart was heavy, trying not to cry. The house was so empty, his friends would come over, and I cook for them. Now, when he comes for a visit, I love to see him, but he has changed, he is now a young man, not my little boy, with new friends, new experiences, don't really need us , only if he needs money LOL.

He is please, when it is time to be off, and so am I . Funny, we are never please!

Yvonne

Asha,

Try not to anticipate the worst. At the end of August I gave Michael and all his fellow new freshman friends who were leaving my speech about staying focused, doing well, kissed them goodbye and told them I'd see them at Thanksgiving.

Two weeks later I found them eating me out of house and home as usual in my kitchen. When I asked what they were doing there, the response I got was that there was a strategy to picking a school that was only an hour or so away so you can come home when you get hungry or homesick because you miss your mother.

I almost had to laugh because I knew how honest they were being. I spent a lot of the summer listening to their fears about having to go away. They knew if they couldn't do it, it meant a lot of money down the drain for their parents. My son grappled with the same thing, but he knows as independent as he is, he doesn't make it sleeping by a friend's house without driving home in the middle of the night because he's hungry. He also knows he doesn't like a lot of noise, so if the party isn't over when he's ready to crash and it's his dorm, there's no I'm getting out of here to the safe quiet of home. My son's school didn't allow freshman to have cars so after he felt miserably stranded at Prom party weekend in Wildwood when he wanted out and had to wait 2 hours for us to go get him.

That seemed to be the big eye opener for him. He was very annoyed that everyone was rowdy and obnoxious. I said little boy, what do you think college is going to be like? Kids your age just like this who will drink, can't handle it and get rowdy and obnoxious. You won't have a car just like this, so take in to consideration we won't taxi you back and forth because you don't want to spend weekends in the dorm.

Michael thought about it and knew he'd be gambling 60k in tuition for something that really wasn't for him. He instead chose to stay home and go to school locally so there would be no room and board.

My older son did the same thing, but he knew right off the bat it wouldn't be for him. He's a junior at Rutger's, his commute is pnly 30 minutes. He and Mike will go back sometimes at night if there is something going on or a party, but they can decide when it's over for them and just come home.

Don't underestimate Ashay's ability to make decisions, choices, or find a good fit for what is right for him. As parents it is often hard to let go of thinking we know what is best for them, being protective, and letting them think for themselves. He's a smart young man who may surprise you with what his thoughts are about going away. Don't be afraid to ask.

Love,

Maria